Charmed Season 5: My Version
by P3fan1208
Summary: This is a collection of scripts that I have written for my own version of season 5. It will include a new sibling, and episodes, and rewrites of some episodes from this season. I don't own Charmed, if I did it would still be on. R&R, but NO FLAMES.
1. Author's Notes

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**

Piper is not yet pregnant.

Phoebe, Piper, and Paige did vanquish Cole at the end of season 4. He comes back in some of the episodes.

Most of season 4 remains unchanged.

Chris doesn't appear at the end of the season.


	2. 5x01: Charm Me Baby, One More Time Pt 1

Scene: A bedroom. Boy, aabout 15, 16, or 17, is asleep in the bed. He is tossing and turning.

(In his dream, a tornado spins though the doors of the Manor, a house he has never seen before. The tornado turns into Shax. The tornado knocks down Piper and Prue, who he has never met. Prue stands up, pushes a man away from Shax, and Shax throws an energy ball at her. She goes flying through a wall. Piper stands up and Shax throws an energy ball at her too. She flies through the remaining part of the window. He wakes up.)

Scene: The attic. Piper is flipping through the Book of Shadows. Paige hastily runs in.

Paige: Piper! What do you know about a Hive demon?

Piper: The minion demons kill witches and steal their powers to bring back to the Queen as part of a mating ritual. Why?

(The attic door explodes. A demon with black eyes, yellow skin and black tribal marks walks in. He has an energy ball in his hand. He throws it at the girls. Paige grabs Piper's shoulder and orbs in place to avoid the energy ball.)

Paige: Piper, freeze him. (Piper waves her hands. The demon stops as an energy ball leaves his hand.)

Piper: Quick, find the spell! (Paige flips through the book nervously.) Wait! There it is!

Piper, Paige: Spirits I see, take this entity. Malicious evil bee, with these words I vanquish thee. (The demon unfreezes and explodes into particles.)

Piper: Hm…that was too easy.

Paige: Well, it says here in the Book, you have to vanquish the Queen to vanquish the minions.

Piper: And to vanquish the Queen, we will have to find her and use the Power of Three.

Paige: Where's Pheebs?

Scene: The Bay Mirror building. Phoebe and Elise are the only ones there.

Elise: Phoebe!

Phoebe: Yes, Elise?

Elise: I'm leaving; don't forget to close up when you leave! (Elise leaves.)

Phoebe: Geez, all this work is stressing me out! (She picks up her papers and packs them into her bag. She takes off her glasses and puts them in a case. She turns her desk lamp off and leaves her cubicle. She reaches for the doorknob and gets a strong premonition: Elise is in a brightly lit room and is hit by a powerful energy ball. Elise goes up in flames and is vanquished. Paige and Piper with herself and the premonition ends.) Oh, my goodness! (Phoebe runs out of the building into the parking lot and sees no one or anything there in darkness.)

**Opening Credits**

Scene: The mansion's sun room, the next morning. Paige and Phoebe are sitting in chairs drinking coffee.

Paige: So you saw Elise being vanquished?

Phoebe: Yes. Actually, I don't know. I don't know if she was vanquished like a demon or killed like a human.

Paige: Speaking of demons, Piper and I had to vanquish a potential Power of Three demon with the Power of Two, because someone was working overtime.

Phoebe: Sorry, I just had a lot of work to do.

Paige: Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's new? (Paige and Phoebe laugh a little bit. Leo orbs in.)

Leo: Hey, Paige, Phoebe.

Paige, Phoebe: Hi.

Leo: Where's Piper?

Paige: Oh, she went to work at P3. You know, preparing for the big, ol' 'Going-Out-Of-Business' party?

Phoebe: Wow, it's only been two years since P3 opened and now our little Piper is moving on to bigger and better things. What's she doing next, going on to a restaurant?

Leo: I guess that's her plan.

Paige: She told me that she was going to call it P3. I'm not sure if she was kidding or not.

(Another Hive demon shimmers in and throws an energy ball at Phoebe. Her chair tumbles backwards and she backwards-somersaults into the living room.)

Phoebe: Paige! What is this?

Paige: Hive demon. Only way to kill them all is to locate and vanquish the Queen. (The demon throws an energy ball at Paige, who is standing front of Leo's chair. The ball hits Paige and she fall backwards onto Leo. She and Leo fall backwards in the chair. They both orb. Paige appears next to Phoebe.) I told Leo to go to the Elders to find the Queen.

Phoebe: Good, so meanwhile, how do we get rid of bee winged freak over there? (He throws another ball, it hits her. She falls down, but is still conscious. The demon approaches Paige. Phoebe kicks him. He falls down.)

Paige: Spirits I see, take this entity. Malicious evil bee, with these words I vanquish thee. (The demon boils and explodes. Paige looks at Phoebe and gives a sigh of relief.) You know, what's funny about these Hive demons? They are WAY too easy to vanquish.

Phoebe: Well, hun, I have to go get ready for work. (Phoebe walks into the foyer and up the stairs. Paige walks into the kitchen and the book's pages move by themselves. The pages stop on the spell "To Summon a Spirit.")

Time lapse. P3. Piper is at the bar, polishing glasses. There is a banner down the side of the stairs that reads 'Going out of Business party. Enjoy P3 for the last time on August 31.' Paige walks down the stairs.

Paige: Hey, Piper.

Piper: Hello Paige. What are you doing here?

Paige: Visiting you. Is there some kind of rule against that?

Piper: No, not at all. What's up?

Paige: Well, it's these Hive demons. It's just stressing me out. The faster we vanquish that bitch Queen, the better.

Piper: Oh, yeah. I know. It's probably the worst on Phoebe; I mean Elise has been piling up the letters for the column and Cole being…well, Cole.

Paige: Speaking of Elise, Phoebe had a premonition of Elise being killed. But demonically.

Piper: You mean she was killed by a demon…or she died like a demon.

Paige: Door number two. And speaking of Phoebe, I'm supposed to meet her for lunch, so I'll see you at home. (Paige hugs Piper across the bar and orbs out.)

Piper: I swear if she keeps doing that, magic won't be very foreign much longer.

Scene: An outdoor restaurant. Phoebe and Paige are sitting at a table, looking at menus.

Phoebe: Ugh, Paige, you have no idea how hard it is to be constantly seeing Elise and knowing how she is going to die

Paige: Oh, yeah. I bet it's real hard. What happened to 'Well, there's always time to change the future.'?

Phoebe: Who said that?

Paige: Leo. Remember, when you accidently summoned little Phoebe and senile Phoebe? (Phoebe smiles)

Phoebe: Oh, yeah. I remember that. However I think that spell was a waste of time and good magic energy.

Paige: But senile Phoebe was kind of funny. (The waiter comes over. It's the boy.)

Boy: Hello ladies. What would you like?

Paige: I'd like the Caesar salad with water to drink. (The boy starts writing when he drops his pen.)

Boy: Oops.

Phoebe: Oh, I'll get it. (Phoebe bends down and grabs the pen and has a premonition: The boy is being chased down a hallway and there are energy balls being thrown at him and the premonition ends.)

Boy: Miss, are you alright?

Phoebe: Peachy. I'd like a garden salad with water. (The waiter writes down Phoebe's order and walks away.) Paige! I just had another premonition.

Paige: Really? Who is the innocent this time? The president?

Phoebe: No. It's our waiter.

Time lapse. Paige is at home. Paige finds the book is open and starts talking to herself.

Paige: Leo! (Leo orbs in.)

Leo: What do you need Paige?

Paige: Leo, I just came home and the book was open to this page. "To Summon a Spirit." Piper and Phoebe told me the book moves by itself sometimes is that true?

Leo: Yes, normally it does that if there is a purpose behind the spell, potion, or ritual on the page.

Paige: So does that mean I should cast the spell?

Leo: Well, Piper- - -

Paige: I'll face the wrath of Piper later. I want to find out why the book opened to this page. (Paige sets up a circle of candles and recites the spell.) Here these words, hear my cry spirit from the other side. Come to me, I summon thee, cross now the Great Divide. (There is a glow from inside the circle of candles. An unseen voice talks to Paige.)

Voice: Hello, Paige. (Paige smiles.)

**To be continued…**


	3. 5x01: Charm Me Baby, One More Time Pt 2

Scene: Halliwell Manor. Paige has just summoned a spirit. Leo is there as well.

Paige: Wow. I never thought this would happen. (A shot of the circle reveals the voice is coming from the spirit of Prue.) So, we finally meet. (Prue steps out of the circle and becomes tangible.)

Prue: I guess so. (Paige sticks out a hand.)

Paige: I'm Paige.

Prue: Oh yeah, I already know. They let us watch you guys from up there. Good job on keeping up with Piper and Phoebe, Paige. (Paige stares at Prue in admiration.)

Leo: Paige?

Paige: Oh Leo, I forgot you were still here. (Prue walks over to Leo and hugs him.)

Prue: Hey stranger.

Leo: Hi, Prue.

Paige: So I don't mean to interrupt the reunion, but why did the book open to the spell 'To Summon a Spirit'?

Prue: Well, Grams moved the pages from the Astral Plane because our mom has an important message for the Charmed Ones. (Prue dissolves in thought.) Wow. That feels really weird saying that.

Paige: As you were saying?

Prue: Well- (Door slams. Piper and Phoebe are talking from the hallway.)

Piper: Leo?(Leo orbs out.) Paige? We're ho- (Piper and Phoebe walk into the room. Piper sees Prue and drops her purse.) Oh my god. Prue! (Piper walks over to Prue and hugs her. Piper breaks up the hug and turns to Paige, pissed off.) We are going to have a serious talk about this missy.

Phoebe: Oh, honey. What are you doing here?

Prue: Paige summoned me. And Piper, don't get mad at Paige. It's not her fault. Technically, Mom and Grams are the ones to blame.

Piper: Mom and Grams? What do they have to do with this?

Prue: Well, as I was just telling Paige, Grams moved the pages of the book to the spirit summoning spell. Mom had me sent to give you, Paige and Phoebe a message.

Piper: Well, what's the message?

Prue: We have been watching over the Earth and over the Underworld as well. Apparently, there are new demonic threats coming along that will require more strength than the Power of Three can give.

Piper: So what are we supposed to do about it? (Another voice begins to talk to Paige and Piper.)

Voice: Find your other sibling. (It's Patty.)

Piper: Mom?

Patty: Yes, Piper.

Piper: What nonsense are you talking, woman?

Patty: The story I am about to tell you is one that I haven't even told Prue yet. I was waiting until the four of you were all together again, which meant having Paige summon Prue.

Piper: Get on with it!

Patty: Well, you see, up in Heaven, I met up with a whitelighter. We had a date and eventually…you know. The Elders said it was impossible for a spirit to get pregnant, but it was also said that it was impossible for the Charmed Ones to be reconstituted. So I got pregnant again, but the whitelighter and I couldn't let the Elders know. So the whitelighter orbed the baby into the womb of another woman. The baby was still ours, DNA speaking, but it was kind of our spiritual way of putting it up for adoption.

Phoebe: So we have another sister?

Patty: No, you have a brother. (The girls are all shocked.)

Paige: A brother?

Piper: Mom, I am going to say the same thing I said when we found out about Paige. You cannot just barge in here after all these years and say 'Gosh, you have a brother!"

Patty: Actually, Prue, Piper, Phoebe, you have a half-brother. Paige, you have a brother. (Paige is more shocked than the other girls.)

Prue: You mean you and Sam again?

Patty: Yes. I was trying to keep it hidden from you girls. But does who his father is really matter? He is a sibling witch. One who can help Piper, Phoebe, and Paige defeat the evil.

Phoebe: How long ago was he born?

Patty: Let me think. He's about 15 now.

Phoebe: So he's about ten years younger than us…and still in school?

Patty: Yes. Now that I have told you girls, you must now get him into the mansion and get him by the book.

Piper: Mom! (Patty disappears. Piper turns to Prue.) Shouldn't you be fading away too?

Prue: Normally, yes. But however, I am allowed to stay down here for a little while and help you guys find our brother. (The girls gather around the Book of Shadows.)

Scene: A classroom in a public school. There is a test being taken. A teacher is walking around the room. The boy is one of his students. He walks by the boy's desk. The boy's paper is covered with various triquetras and pentacles.

Teacher: Madison, this is chemistry 101, not studio art.

Boy: Sorry, Mr. Hodge.

Mr. Hodge: Okay class, hand in your tests. (Students all pass their papers forward.) Today, we will begin our next topic.

Girl: Which is?

Mr. Hodge: The Salem Witch Trials. (The boy isn't paying too much attention.) One of the first women convicted and executed for being an accused witch was Melinda Warren. (The boy looks up. He is thinking to himself.)

Boy: That name sounds very familiar. (Mr. Hodge's words are blurry until he says-)

Mr. Hodge: The only living ancestors of hers live right here in San Francisco. One of them is local advice columnist, Phoebe Halliwell. (The boy thinks to himself again)

Boy: Phoebe Halliwell? (A girl behind him pokes him.)

Girl: Here. (She hands him a note and he unfolds it. The note reads "1329 Prescott Street, San Francisco, CA." The boy looks around for the person who started the note. He turns around.

Boy: Sarah? Where did this note come from?

Sarah: Beats me. I found the paper with an address under your desk and figured it was yours.

Mr. Hodge: Madison! Yeager! Maybe you would like to discuss today's lesson after school. In detention.

Boy: But, but, but- --

Mr. Hodge: No buts, Madison. Butts are for chain smokers.

Scene: Halliwell Manor. The girls, including Prue, are around the Book. Phoebe slams it shut.

Phoebe: Nothing! We've tried the lost witch spell, the Power of Three spell, and many others and still no brother!

Prue: Well, Pheebs, its 1:30. I doubt school is over yet for anyone.

Scene: Mr. Hodge's classroom. The boy raises his hand.

Boy: Mr. Hodge! I don't feel well; may I go to the nurse's office?

Mr. Hodge: Trying to skip detention later?

Boy: No, I feel like I'm going to vomit. (Mr. Hodge sighs.)

Mr. Hodge: Very well. (The boy walks out of the room and his locker. He grabs all of his stuff and sneaks out of the building.)

Boy: I can't believe I did that and I didn't get caught.

Time lapse. It's 3 O'clock. Prue, Piper, Phoebe, and Paige are waiting around in the conservatory for their brother. Outside on the porch, the boy is cautiously walking up the steps and walking towards the door. He knocks, but it's unlocked. He opens it.

Boy: Hello? Is anybody here? (Paige, Piper, and Phoebe enter from the conservatory.)

Phoebe: Who are you?

Paige: Piper, freeze him. (Piper waves her hands.)

Phoebe: He didn't freeze.

Boy: I got a note that said for me to come here after school.

Phoebe: Paige, what made you come to Prue's funeral?

Paige: A newspaper that appeared from nowhere.

Boy: The note came from nowhere.

Piper: (To Paige and Phoebe.) Hm…maybe that's how the 'To Call a Lost Witch' spell worked.

Paige: Well, however it works, it worked. He's here.

Boy: Um…am I supposed to be here? I can leave, if that's what you want. (He turns to leave. Paige and Phoebe run after him and hook their arms into his.)

Paige: No, we actually needed to see you.

Boy: I don't understand why. I don't even know you guys. (Paige turns to him.)

Paige: No, it's okay. My name is Paige. (She points to Piper.) That's Piper, she owns a club. And this is…

Boy: Phoebe Halliwell. My teacher mentioned you today.

Phoebe: Why?

Boy: Mr. Hodge was talking about the Salem Witch Trials and mentioned someone named Melinda Warren. (Phoebe looks at Piper.) He said you are a descendant of hers.

Phoebe: Well, now you know our names…what's yours? (She reaches out to shake his hand.)

Boy: My name is Porter.

Piper: Wow, yet another P child.

Porter: Excuse me? (He shakes Phoebe's hand. The girls look up at the chandelier. No shaking and no blue light like before.)

Phoebe: Hm… the chandler…

Paige: It didn't shake…

Piper: That means…

Paige: He can't be the one.

Porter: I'm sorry I wasted your time. (Porter turns to leave. Prue walks in.)

Prue: Wait! (Porter turns around before he steps out the door.) Come here. (Porter approaches the girls.)

Porter: Yes?

Piper: (To Prue.) What are you trying at?

Prue: (To Piper.) You didn't introduce him to all of his sisters. (To Porter.) Hi, I'm Prue. (She stretches out her hand.)

Phoebe: (To Prue.) How do you suggest we explain the fact that you are dead?

Prue: (To Phoebe.) I'll wing it.

Porter: (Cautiously.) I'm Porter. (He shakes her hand. The chandelier glows, shakes and falls to the ground.)

Piper: Uh…Leo! (Leo orbs in, to Porter's surprise.)

Porter: What's going on here?

Piper: We'll explain later, and by the way, Leo, this is Porter. Porter this is Leo. (To Leo.) You know how the chandelier normally shakes when the Power of Three is made?

Leo: Yes?

Piper: It didn't shake when Porter was with Phoebe, Paige, and I. It shook when Porter was with Phoebe, Paige, me...and Prue! I thought a ghost couldn't have powers.

Leo: I'll check in with the Elders, but meanwhile, the Elders located the Queen of the Hive demons.

Prue: Where is she?

Leo: (Turns to Phoebe.) She's at the Bay Mirror.

Time lapse. The Bay Mirror parking lot. Paige orbs in with Piper, Phoebe, and Porter.

Porter: Okay, so when do you explain to me?

Piper: After you help us.

Porter: Okay, what do I have to do?

Paige: When we find the Queen, you have say a…um…little…spell with us.

Porter: Spell?

Phoebe: Well, it's more like a little poem.

Porter: Well, if you tell me now, I can remember it.

Paige: It goes 'Seductress of an insect kind, vanquish yourself, your body, and mind. Locked away by the Power of Four, there you'll stay forever more.'

Porter: Got it. (They enter the building.)

Piper: Leo said she was in office number 10.

Phoebe: Oh my god. That's Elise's office. (They burst into the room of the paper and run into Elise's office.) Elise! (Elise turns around in her chair. She's holding an athame.) Elise, what are you doing with that?

Elise: Took you long enough to show up. I've been waiting for you.

Phoebe: You're the Queen?

Elise: Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe. Quite the smart little witch, aren't we? (She throws the athame. Piper freezes the room.)

Porter: (To Paige.) How did she do that?

Paige: We'll explain later. Say the spell. (Paige pulls out the paper.)

Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Porter: Seductress of an insect kind, vanquish yourself, your body, and mind. Locked away by the Power of Four, there you'll stay forever more. (Elise screams and explodes.)

Porter: Whoa! Did I do that?

Phoebe: We did it.

Piper: We, you and your sisters.

Porter: Sisters? I've always been an only child.

Piper: Actually, Phoebe, Prue and I are your half sisters.

Paige: I'm not. I'm your full sister. Same mother and father.

Porter: So are you going to explain what's going on?

Piper: Back during the Salem Witch Trials, our ancestor, Melinda Warren, was executed for being a witch. She prophesied that one day in the future there would be three sisters that would have magic powers. One could move things with her mind, one could freeze time, and one could see the future. They would be known as the Charmed Ones, the most powerful good witches known to the magical world. That was me, Phoebe, and Prue.

Porter: Wait, witches?

Piper: Yes.

Porter: Why isn't Prue one anymore?

Phoebe: She died. She was killed by a demon named Shax.

Porter: So the girl I met who said her name was Prue. She was?

Paige: A spirit. I summoned her because she had to tell us about you.

Porter: So, my big full sister replaced her?

Paige: Yes.

Porter: So can you explain this power thing to me?

Phoebe: I can see the future.

Piper: I can freeze time.

Paige: I can move things with my mind. That was originally Prue's power.

Porter: So if you really have these powers then prove it.

Paige: Okay. (Paige puts out her hand.) Scissors! (The scissors orb to her.)

Porter: What happened? Why didn't it just fly across the room?

Paige: You and I are half-witch and the other half is called a whitelighter. That blue light is called an orb. It's how they teleport.

Piper: Prue could make things fly.

Porter: Okay, Piper, you next. Freeze time.

Piper: Paige, give Porter those scissors. (Paige hands the scissors over to Porter.) Porter, throw 'em in the air. (Porter throws them up. Piper waves her hands and they freeze and then unfreeze and fall.)

Porter: Okay. I believe you. But if I am one of you what power do I get?

Phoebe: Well, Prue is the oldest and could move things, Piper is second oldest and freezes time, I'm third oldest and see the future, and Paige is the second youngest and moves things. So you should be a freezer.

Porter: Really? I get a cool power? Okay Piper, how do you do it?

Piper: Just wave your hands. (She picks up the scissors and drops them. Porter waves his hands. Nothing.)

Porter: I guess I'm not one of you guys then.

Phoebe: But it did take Piper a while to get it down. Try again. (She picks them up and drops them. Porter waves his hands but they don't freeze. He bends down and picks them up.)

Porter: I guess I'm not one of you. (He sighs and a swirl of orbs comes out of his mouth. They settle on the scissor handles. The handles are coated in ice. The girls and Porter are all shocked.)

**To be continued…**


	4. 5x01: Charm Me Baby, One More Time Pt 3

Scene: Back at the Manor. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and Porter enter the foyer. Porter is holding a flower that he covered with ice.

Porter: I can't believe I can freeze things.

Piper: Yeah, it's pretty fun, except yours takes a little longer to undo.

Porter: Why does mine work differently than yours?

Paige: Well, probably because you're half-whitelighter and it causes the power to work differently. That's why my power is different than Prue's. (They walk into the conservatory and sit in chairs.)

Phoebe: So Porter, why don't you tell us about yourself?

Porter: Okay. I was born to a woman named Cynthia Madison. I guess I was a miracle to her. She had a dream the night she had me where a woman in white told her to take care of her baby and give it a P name, so I became Porter Madison. When I was 4, Cynthia was murdered and I was put up for adoption.

Paige: Another coincidence, I was adopted too and my initials are PM.

Porter: I was adopted by a rich family. They put me into a private school where I currently go to school, although the school doesn't make us wear uniforms. Anyway, my adoptive father was assassinated and my mother is a wealthy old woman now. And that's pretty much it.

Piper: Porter, I'll be right back, okay? (Piper goes upstairs to get the Book. She comes back and places it on Porter's lap.) Porter, this is our Book of Shadows. Think of it as our encyclopedia to magic.

Phoebe: Porter, in order for you to be officially one of us (She flips to the 'To Gain Powers' spell.) We need you to say this.

Porter: Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night, the oldest of spells are invoked here, the great gift of magic is sought . In this night and in this hour, I'll call upon the ancient power, bring your powers to we sisters three, we want the power, give us the power. (The chandelier, which has been reattached to the ceiling, shakes and glows blue. The words on the back of the spirit board glow and the 'The power of three will set you free,' turns into 'The power of four, forever more.' The girls smile.)

**End of episode…**


	5. 5x02: Happily Ever After Pt 1

Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper is there reading a story from a fairy tales book out loud.

Piper: A year after the death of Snow White's mother, the king remarried, but his new bride was in fact a wicked witch. (Paige walks in.) One consumed by...

Paige: What are you still doing up?

Piper: Not sleeping as usual. I thought maybe reading some fairy tales would help me sleep. It always worked when Grams did it.

Paige: Well if you are trying to sleep, why don't you put away those silly fairy tales.

Piper: Silly? You think fairy tales are silly?

Paige: Yeah, they're all about helpless women needing big, strong men to come and rescue them. Plus, they're filled with evil witches.

Piper: But Paige, these stories are classics, they are filled with values and lessons for being a good person.

Paige: Well, my grandmother taught me values just fine without big wolves devouring little girls. You want my advice?

Piper: Not really.

(Paige walks over to the Book Of Shadows.)

Paige: You should ditch the fiction and read a real story.

(Paige picks up the Book Of Shadows and takes it to Piper.)

Piper: Well, Paige, those stories aren't really 'bedtime' stories, more like Stephen King novels.

Paige: Whatever, just make sure you don't stay up too much longer. I'm outie.

(Paige leaves the attic.)

Piper: Where was I? A year after the death of Snow White's mother, the king remarried. But his new bride was in fact a wicked witch, one consumed by jealousy. Every day she asked the magic mirror the same question.

Scene: A castle. There are various items on stands throughout the main room, like a museum. An old man is cleaning a magic mirror. A lady's face (the wicked witch) appears in the mirror.

Wicked Witch: Aren't you dead yet?

Old Man: Ha, still so bitter after all these centuries. Some things never change. (He turns to an apprentice, cleaning glass slippers.) Careful, my boy, those are not just symbols, they're pieces of history.

Apprentice: I understand.

(He puts the slipper on a stand. There is a sign saying "Cinderella" under them.)

Old Man: Never forget the power of every fairy tale emanates from each of these. (The nail holding up the magic mirror starts to come loose.) Their magic continues to shape every child born, even to this day. Which makes the task of preserving and protecting them much greater. (The magic mirror falls from the wall.) No, the mirror! Don't let it fall!

(The mirror smashes and a white mist floats out of it. The mist forms into the wicked witch.)

Wicked Witch: Thanks so much. I thought I'd never get out of there. (She grabs the old man by the neck.) This is the way to begin a story.

(The old man drops to the floor. The wicked witch turns to the apprentice.)

Apprentice: Who are you?

Wicked Witch: Little rusty on your fairy tales I see. Evil witch, magic mirror, speaks only the truth. Perhaps this would help. "Freedoms lost must be unwitting, into the glass to do my bidding." (The apprentice is sucked into the mirror. The wicked witch uses her power and the mirror slides back up the wall and into its place.) Now, amuse me. Not that you have any choice. "Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the most powerful witch?"

Apprentice: You're much stronger than other witches I've seen before, yet truth be told there are four with powers much stronger than yours.

(Images of Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and Porter flash in the mirror.)

Wicked Witch: We'll see about that.

Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper is asleep on a couch. Paige walks in holding the Book Of Shadows.

Paige: Piper!

(Piper jumps up.)

Piper: Where's the demon?

Paige: It's okay, you're okay.

Piper: Ohh, I think I had a nightmare.

Paige: Yeah, the brothers Grimm strike again. I wonder how they got their name. Where's Leo?

Piper: I don't know, I think he's helping one of his charges. What happened to your hair?

Paige: My protection potion blew up in my face. My hair was set on fire and turned red. I kind of like it.

(She places the Book of Shadows back on its stand.)

Piper: It probably blew up because it's an impossible potion. If it were possible, wouldn't we use it more often?

Paige: Well, according to the book it can be done. Your Grams was working on it day and night.

Piper: Well, too bad she's not around; she could help us all out. I just, I need a little help.

Paige: What do you mean?

Piper: Nothing much, I just think, maybe Grams could help us teach Porter some of the tricks.

(Phoebe races in.)

Phoebe: There you are. Paige, did you ever make that vanquishing potion?

Paige: Vanquishing potion?

Phoebe: The one for Cole. Remember I gave you the letter opener with his blood on it?

Paige: Right, vanquishing potion. I'm sorry; I didn't know you needed that right away. Do you?

Phoebe: Well, if the nightmare I had last night turns out to be a premonition, then yeah, big time. He had me back in the underworld as his queen.

Piper: Oh, yeah, but you've had that nightmare before.

Phoebe: I've lived that nightmare before, we all have, but this time we have to be prepared.

Paige: No arguments here.

Phoebe: And he's got a lot more powers now so there's no telling how he's gonna come after me. You guys have to be really, really careful, okay.

Piper: What, you think Cole's gonna try and kill us? That would not be the best way to win you back.

Paige: Yeah, but it wouldn't be the first time he tried. (Porter comes in.)

Porter: Who is Cole?

Phoebe: My ex-husband and a half demon. Paige, can you please make the potion ASAP? If you need me, call me at work. (Phoebe leaves.)

Porter: Uh…Piper, how long did take you to control your freezing power?

Piper: Almost a year, why?

Porter: Because on my way here, I sneezed and froze a street cat.

Paige: Did you walk here?

Porter: How else would I have gotten here? My adoptive mom doesn't know I have sisters.

Paige: Call for me and I can orb you.

Porter: Speaking of orbing, how come I can't orb even though I'm a whitelighter?

Piper: Maybe because your destined power doesn't require orbing and the DNA decided to skip a generation.

Paige: Too bad you can't leave with us, Porter.

Porter: Yeah, I can't see that happening. "Hey mom, I'm gonna go live with my older sisters. You've never met them but they're good people."

Paige: We'll find a way.

Scene: Castle. The wicked witch is there looking at images of Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and Porter in the mirror. The images disappear and the apprentice appears.

Apprentice: Wanna see more?

Wicked Witch: No, I think I've seen enough to know how to kill them.

Apprentice: Powerful though you are, I doubt it can be done. For good magic protects the Charmed Ones.

Wicked Witch: Still, I wonder if it can protect them against such powerful magic as we have here. Certainly worth a try.

Apprentice: But using the props for evil could...

Wicked Witch: Change the meaning of fairy tales? Shift them away from good? So be it. (She opens a large fairy tale book.) Let's begin with Snow White. She was easy prey. Woodsman come forth. (The picture of a woodsman in the book glows and a real life woodsman appears in the room.) Bring me the heart of the witch which is white as snow.

(She picks up an axe off a stand and hands it to the Woodsman.)

Woodsman: As you wish.


	6. 5x02: Happily Ever After Pt 2

Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Piper and Leo are there.

Piper: You heard me, Leo. I want you to bring Grams back now.

Leo: Okay, I can't do that, she's dead.

Piper: Well, I realize that. Thank you very much, Leo. I'm not asking you to resurrect her, I just need her here for a little while for some advice.

Leo: Why don't you, Paige, and Porter summon her?

Piper: Because I need her to be human like not intangible. Even if she stepped out of the circle, she would be no use. I need her to help us teach Porter! So bring her to me now! (Leo backs away.) I said now! (Grams appears behind her.)

Leo: Piper!

Piper: What?

Leo: Turn around. (Piper turns around.)

Piper: (in shock.) Grams! How did you get here?

Grams: I don't know. But here I am and corporeal to boot.

Piper: You mean, didn't you come on your own power?

Grams: Honey, I'm good but I'm not that good. Well, as long as I'm here, don't I get a hug?

(Piper and Grams hug.)

Piper: But wait, I still don't understand. Who summoned you?

Grams: I don't know, I heard a voice calling me and I came down here. So Piper, how have you been?

Piper: Good. And you?

Grams: Heavenly. Where are Phoebe and … (Paige walks down the stairs.) Paige!

Paige: Gee, Piper, you aren't even pregnant and you are already looking for nannies?

Grams: Paige. You're even more beautiful than I imagined.

Paige: And you are?

Grams: Why, I'm your Grams of course. Come here.

(Grams hugs Paige, who has a funny look on her face.)

Piper: Um…Grams, I don't mean to cut off a tender meeting, but there is someone else we'd like you to meet.

Grams: Who?

Piper: Porter! (Porter runs down the stairs.)

Porter: Where's the demon?

Piper: Not this time. Porter, this is Grams. (Porter reaches out to shake her hand.)

Grams: Who is this?

Piper: Mom's secret son. Sam knocked her up during the '90's, so he's Paige's brother and Prue, Phoebe, and mine's half-brother.

Grams: You mean I have five grandchildren? (Piper nods to her.) Well, come here Porter! (She hugs Porter.) You can call me Grams. (Suddenly, the Woodsman comes crashing through the conservatory wall. He heads for Grams and Piper pushes her out the way. Piper is scratched on the arm by the axe. He swings his axe at Paige and she orbs out just in time. She orbs back in and he smacks her across the face, sending her crashing onto the coffee table. Porter runs over to her. The Woodsman runs to Paige and Porter. He lifts his axe and lowers it. Porter incases his arm in ice just in time. The Woodsman turns around to attack Piper and Grams. Piper blows him up.)

Piper: What the hell was that? (Leo comes over to her and heals her arm.)

Cut to the castle. The Wicked Witch was watching them through the magic mirror. The apprentice appears back in the mirror.

Wicked Witch: Now, mirror, mirror, show me the sister who's been burned by love.

(Images of The Bay Mirror show. Phoebe walks in.)

Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe walks in.

Phoebe: Oh, I know, I am very, very late.

Assistant: It's okay, I switched your nine o'clock with the two o'clock, I bumped your ten to twelve and I made your eleven o'clock a lunch, so you can expense it.

Phoebe: Okay, I have no idea what you said but it sounds great. Any messages?

Assistant: Uh, yeah. Your divorce attorney called, then Cole, Cole and Cole again.

Phoebe: Get my divorce attorney on the phone. (Phoebe turns and bumps into a guy. She spills her coffee.) Oh.

Guy: I'm sorry.

Assistant: I'll get some paper towels.

Guy: I'm so sorry.

Phoebe: That's okay.

(The guy pulls a handkerchief out of his suit pocket and starts to wipe the coffee off Phoebe.)

Guy: Here, I...

Phoebe: Thanks.

(She takes the handkerchief.)

Guy: I really am terribly sorry, I'd be happy to pay for the dry cleaning.

Phoebe: No, that's not necessary, Mr...

Guy: Prince. Adam Prince.

Phoebe: Hi, Adam, I'm...

Adam: Phoebe. I, I read your column.

Phoebe: You do?

Adam: You seem surprised.

Phoebe: Well, yeah, you're not exactly my target audience. Unless you're a closet housewife pining for love?

Adam: Well, one out of two is not bad.

(Cole walks in.)

Cole: Adam. Sorry, got hung up in traffic.

Phoebe: Wh-what are you doing here?

Adam: You two know each other.

Cole: Well, yeah, we're married.

Phoebe: Wh-yeah, but-but about to be divorced.

Cole: I didn't want this to affect your decision on whether or not to buy the paper.

Phoebe: Buy what? This paper?

Cole: Adam's family owns several newspapers across the country, Phoebe. TV stations too.

Adam: And Cole through his law firm was the one who suggested I might be interested in buying this one.

Phoebe: That's fascinating stuff right there. Excuse us.

Cole: Excuse us.

(Phoebe drags Cole into her office and closes the door.)

Phoebe: I don't know what you're up to but whatever it is, it is not gonna work.

Cole: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?

Phoebe: With my demon ex-husband from hell? No, Cole, I don't.

Cole: Look, I'm just trying to help you, okay? I found out Adam liked your column so I figured if he could syndicate it that...

Phoebe: If you hurt me or my sisters, I will vanquish you. And this time I'll make sure it sticks.

(Phoebe opens the door and Cole leaves.)

Adam: You alright?

Phoebe: Yeah. I'll be fine.

Adam: So I guess this is probably not the best time to ask you out. I mean, not on a date per se, it's just that I'm hosting a charity fundraiser tonight at the St Regis and I thought maybe if you're interested...

Phoebe: I'm interested and very, very flattered but you're probably right, it's not the best time for me, you know.

Adam: Sure.

Phoebe: Rain check?

Adam: Absolutely.

Phoebe: Okay.

(Adam walks away.)

Cut to the castle, the witch is watching them. The images disappear and the Apprentice reappears.

Apprentice: Try as you like. Fairy tale magic runs out at midnight.

Wicked Witch: There's still plenty of time. (She picks up a red apple and a loaf of bread.) The Woodsman failed but I won't. I'll split the witches up and make sure none of them live happily ever after.

(She tucks the apple and bread into her coat and walks over to the glass slippers. She picks them up and smokes out.)

Scene: The attic. Piper, Paige, Porter, Leo and Grams walk in. Piper and Porter sit down on the couch. Porter picks up the book of fairy tales and he and Piper look in the book.

Paige: Leo, that guy had to be a demon. I've never seen a person from the street be that good with an axe?

Leo: Since when do demons or even warlocks attack with an axe?

Paige: Athame, axe, crossbow, what's the difference?

Grams: Well, whatever he was, he looked very familiar…kind of like…

Porter: Like this? (He and Piper hold the book open to a page with the Woodsman on it.)

Grams: Yes! That's him!

Piper: The Woodsman from Snow White.

Grams: You recognized him?

Piper: I've been reading fairy tales to get my self to sleep, just like you used to.

Grams: Oh, that's my Piper!

Paige: Come on, you expect me to believe that gingerbread men and little mermaids really exist?

Grams: Fairy tales are not all fables, my dear. Some are recountings of ancient battles between good and evil. And they're as much apart of our heritage as anything in the Book of Shadows. (Paige rolls her eyes.)

Leo: You used to think that the Evil Enchantress was just a fairy tale too, didn't you?

Paige: That was different. That was...

Piper: A past life. Yours.

Cut to the kitchen. The Wicked Witch smokes in, holding a gift. She places it on the table. She hears the sound of a car parking and gasps. She pulls the red apple out of her coat and places it in the fruit bowl and places the bread on the counter. They glow for a second. She smokes out. Phoebe walks in through the back door and puts her purse on the table. She sees the gift and opens the lid.

Cut to the attic. Phoebe is talking from the hallway.

Phoebe: Piper? Paige? Leo? Porter? was anyone here when this got... Grams?

Grams: In the flesh. So to speak.

(They hug.)

Phoebe: Oh, it's so good to see you. Wait, what did I just hug? Where did you get the body from?

Piper: Oh, it's a long story. And speaking of stories, a fairy tale just tried to slice our heads off.

Phoebe: A fairy tale?

Porter: Yes, Phoebe, a fairy tale? Are you on break or here to help us?

Phoebe: I'm all yours. So did does anybody know where these came from? (She pulls a shoe out of the box.)

Paige: One of Cinderella's glass shoes?

Grams: See, Paige? Fairy tales can be real.

Piper: Where did they come from?

Phoebe: I bet I know. Cole probably brought them to try and get me to be his queen again. He knows Cinderella is my favorite story.

Piper: Cole? You think Cole is doing all of this?

Phoebe: Who else has enough power to turn fairy tales against us? I told you he was gonna attack.

Grams: Except it was an evil witch who sent the woodsman in Snow White.

Leo: I think I'd better go check with the elders.

Piper: I think you better. (Leo orbs out. Phoebe takes off her shoes.)

Porter: What are you doing, Phoebe?

Phoebe: Trying to prove a point. (She takes out the shoes and puts one foot in one shoe.)

Paige: Don't put your other foot in, you don't know what could happen.

Phoebe: Oh please, Cole wouldn't hurt me. Physically anyway. (She puts the other foot in the other shoe. A blue light swirls around her from her feet to her head and her clothes change into a ball gown.)

Paige: Phoebe, are you okay?

Phoebe: Yeah, actually, I'm better than okay. I'm great! (Phoebe's legs start moving her towards the door.) Whoa.

Piper: Where are you going?

Phoebe: Whoa.

Piper: Where are you going? (Piper, Paige, and Porter follow her.)

Phoebe: I don't know! I can't stop! (They try to hold her back.)

Porter: Well, get out of them.

Phoebe: I can't. The door. The door. (Piper, Paige, and Porter pin her to the door frame.

Paige: Mrs. Halliwell, what do we do?

Grams: Just let her go. We're never gonna be able to get to the bottom of this if you don't let the story play out as it is supposed to. (They let Phoebe go and she walks downstairs.) Paige, follow her, orb her out if she gets in trouble.

Paige: She's already in trouble.

Phoebe: Help! (Paige follows Phoebe.)

Grams: Piper, Porter, you two stay with me. We're going to work on vanquishing evil witches.

Piper: Right. (She and Porter go to the Book of Shadows.)

Grams: Not that book. (She picks up the fairy tale book.) This one.

Scene: St Regis. Hallway. Adam, wearing a black tuxedo, walks down talking on his mobile phone.

Adam: Listen, I am very interested in making an offer but I am on my way to a charity event right now. (He walks into an elevator.) Can we talk first thing in the morning? Great. Thank you. (He hangs up. The Wicked Witch smokes in and gives Adam a fright.) What the hell? (The Wicked Witch grabs his face and kisses him. His face glows then turns normal.) How can I serve you, my Queen?

Wicked Witch: Just be a charming prince. Meet Cinderella at the ball. But be certain that she's in the carriage by midnight. Otherwise you won't have a happy ending either.

Scene: The street. Phoebe and Paige walk across without stopping. People in cars slam on their breaks and honk their horns.

Phoebe: Hey, I'm walking here!

Car Driver: Get out of the street!

Paige: Don't you have any way of controlling those things?

Phoebe: They didn't exactly come with an instruction manual, Paige. (She walks onto the sidewalk.)

Paige: Argh, god. (Phoebe stops. Paige bumps into her.) They stopped.

Phoebe: Yeah, but why did they stop? (A horse and carriage pulls up in front of them.) Well, he's got style, I'll give him that much.

Paige: Okay, this is getting too weird, we're getting outta here.

Phoebe: Um, excuse me, sir. Did Cole Turner send you? (No answer.) Hello? I asked you a question. (The carriage door magically opens.)

Paige: Okay, whatever happens you are not getting into that. (Phoebe's legs move towards the carriage.)

Phoebe: Whoa!

Paige: Phoebe, no! (Phoebe gets in the carriage. Paige tries to follow but a force blocks her and knocks her to the ground.)

Phoebe: Looks like he want Cinderella to go to the ball alone just like in the story. (The carriage moves.)

Paige: Hold on! (She stands up.) I'll orb you out.

Phoebe: No. Go back to the manor.

Paige: But what about you?

Phoebe: Look, I'll call for Leo if I'm in danger, okay?

Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper, Paige, Porter, Leo and Grams are there.

Paige: She's already in danger. We never should have split up. No offence, Mrs. Halliwell.

Grams: Grams. And none taken.

Piper: Yeah, well, if what we heard is true, then Phoebe could be in a lot more danger than we think. We all could.

Leo: If somebody's using fairy tales for evil, it could rewrite them, corrupt them for every future generation.

Porter: How? How can you rewrite them? They're already in print.

Leo: Every copy is a manifestation of an original, an original that was entrusted to the Keeper of the fairy tales, long ago for protection.

Piper: The Elders think something has happened to him, that somebody took over the fortress from the inside.

Grams: An evil witch I might add.

Paige: Why don't we just orb to this fortress and kick her butt?

Leo: Because nobody knows where it is. Its location has been kept secret, even from the Elders.

Paige: Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that was decided?

Piper: The point is we have no way of finding her.

Grams: Piper, I'm surprised at you. I mean, she's a witch isn't she? Just scry for her.

Piper: Oh, right.

Grams: Then after you find her, you lure her back here to us and we vanquish her with a potion.

Paige: What potion?

Grams: Oh, one that works wonders on evil witches. Come, I'll show you.

Paige: Errr.

Grams: Uh, maybe we could also work on your protection potion if we have time. Porter, you come too, you can learn a thing or two about potion making.

(Grams picks up the Book Of Shadows. Paige nods and they leave the attic.)

Leo: (to Piper) You alright?

Piper: Shush, I need to concentrate. (She scrys for the witch.)

Cut to the castle. The Wicked Witch is watching Piper through the magic mirror. The image fades out and the apprentice shows up instead.

Apprentice: She'll find you and by midnight too.

Wicked Witch: I want her to find me, (she cuts a piece of her hair off with scissors) part of me anyway. (She puts the hair into a red cloak.)

Apprentice: Hair in the cloak? That's not in the Little Red Riding Hood tale.

Wicked Witch: No, but luring them away from Grandmother's house is. So is the big bad wolf.

Scene: St. Regis. The charity night is taking place. Men and women and waltzing in the centre of the room. Adam is chatting to some people. He looks around and then looks at his watch. Phoebe walks in.

Phoebe: Excuse me, pardon me, comin' through. (Her feet stop and Adam goes over to her.)

Adam: Phoebe, you came. I'm so glad.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, I didn't really have much of a choice.

Adam: You look fabulous.

Phoebe: Thanks.

Adam: I just hope you're not here with someone else.

Phoebe: Oh, no, I am definitely not here with someone else, even if that someone else thinks I am.

Adam: Sorry? (Phoebe sees Cole approaching them.)

Phoebe: Oh. Well, speak of the devil.

Cole: What are you doing here?

Phoebe: As if you don't know.

Cole: Actually I don't.

Phoebe: Listen, Cole, these boots may be made for walking, but they're never walking back to you, buddy.

Cole: Boots?

Phoebe: You know what I mean.

Cole: Am I up to something again?

Adam: Listen, why don't we get a drink?

Phoebe: Okay.

Cole: Oh. You two here together?

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, isn't that part of your master plan?

Cole: There is no master plan.

Phoebe: At least not one that'll work. Okay, you ready?

Adam: Yes. (Phoebe and Adam start to walk away.)

Cole: Phoebe, wait, listen.

Adam: Why don't you back off, pal? (He grabs Cole and Cole twists his arm. It doesn't seem to hurt him.)

Cole: Excuse me.

Phoebe: Okay, you know what? Leave him alone, Cole. Let him go. (Cole lets go.) (to Adam) Are you okay?

Adam: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You ready? (They start to walk away.)

Cole: Phoebe, I don't think you should...

Phoebe: I don't care what you think. Just stay the hell away from me. (They walk away.)

Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Paige, Porter, and Grams are there making a potion. Grams is cutting up some mandrake root.

Grams: You must take care to cut the mandrake root to expose the meat, otherwise it doesn't do any good. And then you simply roll them in mustard seed, but not too heavily and then, (she throws it into a pot and the potion explodes) goodbye evil witch.

Porter: Wow, I can't believe you did that without looking at the book once.

Grams: Honey, I wrote the book. All the good potions anyway. Paige, would you be a dear and get me a vial?

Paige: Oh, yeah, sure.

(Paige goes over to a cupboard and pulls out a vial. The apple in the fruit bowl glows for a second. Paige notices and stares at it.)

Grams: Paige, the vial.

Paige: Um, sorry. (There is a knock on the door.)

Porter: Oh, I'll get that. (Porter goes over to the door and answers it. He looks outside and sees no one, but then he looks across the street and suddenly the house across the street is a gingerbread house covered with gumdrops, cookies, frosting, and other various sweets. Porter's eyes glow, he blinks and they turn back. He closes the door and goes back in to the kitchen.)

Grams: You know, it's a good thing you quit your job. You catch on quickly and you have a real gift for the craft.

Paige: How'd you know I quit my job? How'd you know I even had a job?

Grams: Oh, I peek, I mean, you know, sometimes. Oh, but never during a private moment.

Paige: Thanks. I guess.

Grams: I mean, what choice do I have?

Paige: Okay, no offence, Mrs. Halliwell...

Grams: Grams.

Paige: Okay, that's my point. I already had a Grams. One I really, really loved and yes, technically we're related and you're my grandmother too. I guess it just feels a little odd because I don't know you.

Grams: I understand and I wouldn't dream of trying to replace someone as special to you as that. But isn't it possible that maybe there might be a little room left in your heart for me too? Someday.

Paige: Well, at least I can see where I get my stubbornness from. (Grams chuckles.) I'd better get a couple of vials for Phoebe , Piper, and Porter too.

(Paige goes to the cupboard and the apple catches her attention again. She moves closer to it.)

Porter: Grams, Paige! I saw something strange outside. I'm going to check it out.

Grams: Porter, wait take a potion to protect yourself.

Porter: No, it's okay…I'll take…(He looks around and sees the bread. It glows. He grabs it.) This! (Porter runs out giggling.)

Grams: No! Porter! Come back here! (She chases him to the front door. It's open and Porter is running across the street and the bread is crumbling with each step, leaving crumbs on the pavement.)

Cut to the woods. It's dark. Piper and Leo are walking along a trail.

Leo: Grams? You don't need Grams to do the scrying. What's gotten into you?

Piper: I don't know, I suddenly feel like I can't make any decisions at all. I feel like I'm ten years old again around her.

Leo: Hey, what's this?

(They find the red cloak hanging over a branch in a tree. Leo pulls it down.)

Piper: Oh, let me guess. Little Red Riding Hood's? Wait, we're off the beaten path, aren't we? Oh, no, Grams.

Cut back to the manor. Kitchen. Grams is stirring the potion. Paige picks up the apple and takes a bite. Her hair turns long and black and her clothes change into a white robe.

Grams: Paige... (Paige falls to the floor.) Paige! (A wolf growls at Grams at the kitchen doorway. It runs towards Grams and leaps for her.) No!

(We see the shadow on the wall of the wolf leaping above Grams. The wolf devours her from head to toe. The shadow of Grams then stands up. We see Grams and she picks her teeth. She looks down at Paige. Leo and Piper orb in. Piper's holding the cloak.)

Piper: What happened?

Grams: Porter ran off, and as for Paige… I'm afraid she's dead.

**To be continued…**


	7. 5x02: Happily Ever After Pt 3

Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper, Paige, Leo and Grams are there. Leo is trying to heal Paige. Piper is flipping through the Book Of Shadows. Grams is pacing through the kitchen, acting rather strange.

Piper: I know there's something in here somewhere about poison. Leo? (Leo looks at her.) No, we are not giving up. This is a stinkin' fairy tale. If Snow White can come back to life then Paige can too. Right, Grams? (Grams scratches her head as if she has fleas.)

Grams: Uh, well, I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Piper: What are you talking about? You're supposed to be the expert. There has got to be some way.

Leo: What about a kiss?

Piper: A kiss?

Leo: It worked for Snow White. It's worth a shot. (Grams sniffs Piper and Piper gives her a look. Grams moves back.)

Grams: A Kiss. Yes, by all means. (She grabs Piper's arm and pulls her.) Come, let's find her boyfriend.

Piper: She doesn't have a boyfriend, remember?

Grams: Right. Sorry. (She chuckles. Her stomach grumbles loudly.) My stomach is really upset.

Piper: Wait, I got a spell. "Here our call, for those who fall, urge her to awaken, from this toxic taken." (Leo feels Paige's pulse.)

Leo: Nothing.

Piper: Grams, what do we do? (Grams shakes her head.)

Leo: Focus on vanquishing the evil witch in hopes that it reverses the dark magic. It's our only hope.

Piper: (to Grams) Did you finish the vanquishing potion?

Grams: Um, no. Unfortunately, ugh, bad batch. (She picks up the pot of potion and tips it down the sink. The doorbell rings.) Oh, Leo, would you be a lamb and see who that is? (Leo Leaves the kitchen. Grams sneers at Piper behind her back. Grams moves away when Leo speaks.)

Leo: (from foyer) Honey? Honey, you might wanna come look at this! (Piper leaves the kitchen.)

Cut to the foyer. Leo is at the door. Piper walks in.

Piper: What? What is it? (She notices seven dwarves standing on the porch.)

Head Dwarf: Someone here eat a poison apple?

Cut to the house across the street. Porter, dressed in traditional German boys clothing, is nervously reaching for the frosting that is gluing the roof to the walls. The door suddenly opens. A voice from inside the dark house is calling out to Porter.

Voice: Hello?

Porter: Who is there?

Voice: It is I, a lonely old widow, waiting for someone to visit me. And here you are! How sweet. (The woman comes out of the shadows. She puts her arm around Porter and sweeps him inside. Porter and the widow walk to a dining room. The table is covered with various sugary foods.)

Porter: What's all this?

Widow: A glorious feast that I've set up just for you! Sit down and eat. (Porter sits down and begins eating a stack of pancakes. He begins to devour them faster and faster, before moving to other foods.)

Scene: St Regis. Phoebe and Adam are dancing.

Adam: You know there's a fine line between love and hate.

Phoebe: What?

Adam: It's just I'm not sure if you're dancing with me or for Cole. To make him jealous, I mean.

Phoebe: Oh, no, it's not like that at all. It's just very complicated.

Adam: I see, I can always have him fired if that would help.

Phoebe: Really? (Phoebe giggles.)

Adam: Absolutely, just say the word.

Phoebe: Word.

Adam: Done. (Phoebe sees Leo across the room. He points.) You know, it's almost midnight. What do you say we get out of here?

Phoebe: Uh, hold that thought. (Phoebe goes over to Leo. Adam starts to follow but Cole stops him.)

Cole: I don't know what happened to you, but I do know evil when I see it. And you're it.

Adam: I don't know what you're talking about.

Cole: No, of course you don't. But if you try to hurt Phoebe I'll kill you.

Cut to Phoebe and Leo nearby.

Phoebe: She's dead? What do you mean she's dead?

Leo: Don't worry the dwarves are all over it.

Phoebe: The dwarves?

Leo: Piper cast a spell that wound up summoning the descendants of the seven dwarves. Actually, they prefer to be called little people now.

Phoebe: Snow White and the Little People.

Leo: Look, the point is that they preserve the dead, it's what they do. At least it'll buy us time until we can vanquish the evil witch who's behind all this.

Phoebe: Cole is behind all of this.

Leo: Not according to the Elders he's not.

Phoebe: Wh-?

Leo: Look, even if he was responsible there's nothing more that you can do here. Piper needs you back home to try and save Paige.

Phoebe: Okay.

Cut to the manor. Living room. Paige is lying in a glass case. The dwarves are standing around it, some cleaning the glass.

Head Dwarf: When's her prince getting here?

Piper: She doesn't have a prince.

Head Dwarf: No prince? Then who's gonna kiss her?

Dwarf #2: I'll do it.

Dwarf #3: In you're dreams, stinky. I'll do it.

Dwarf #2: I told you not to call me that.

Head Dwarf: People! A little professional decorum here please. (to Piper) Forgive them, it's been a while.

Piper: Mm-hm.

(Piper walks over to the stairs and picks up the Woodsman's axe.)

Grams: Uh, um, sweetheart. (She goes over to Piper. She gets nervous when she sees the axe.) What are you doing with that?

Piper: Well, I'm not gonna sit around and wait for the wolf to attack.

Grams: Wolf? What wolf?

Piper: From Little Red Riding Hood. This cloak is meant for me.

(She points to the cloak hanging over the rail.)

Grams: Oh, you don't believe that silly old story do you?

Piper: Grams, you're the one that says fairy tales are based in truth.

Grams: Well yes, but that one was made up to scare little kids. I mean after all, a little girl gets eaten in the end, what a downer.

Piper: No, the Woodsman comes and cuts open the wolf's stomach and frees her and the grandmother.

Grams: Well, that's not the popular version.

Piper: Well it's in our version.

Grams: Really? Show me. (Piper goes upstairs, carrying the axe. Grams grabs the cloak and follows.)

Dwarf #2: You think she knows that's a wolf?

Head Dwarf: Not our business.

Cut to the inside of the house across the street. Porter has gotten fatter and much rounder. His face is covered with sticky sugar and syrup.

Porter: I can't get up…(Porter belches.)…excuse me. (The widow grabs Porter's hand and brings him to the kitchen.)

Widow: Don't worry, my dear, I will help you. (She opens a closet door, across from her oven, and pushes Porter in. It turns out the closet is really a cage. The Widow locks it.)

Porter: (Barely managing to speak.) What are you doing? (The Widow glows and transforms into a hideous hag.)

Widow: Didn't you see all along? I was trying to fatten you up so I could cook you and eat you up. (She turns around to light the fire in the oven. After it is lit, Porter barely manages to lift his hand to his mouth. He blows a strong blow across his palm. Orbs fly towards the oven, but the fall short.) Can't you see? Your powers are useless against fairy tale magic.

Porter: (Barely managing to speak.) You're turning me into Hansel and Gretel? Why didn't I see it all along?

Widow: You know what, my dear? You seem warm enough, so I'm just going to skip cooking you and eat you raw. (The widow opens her mouth and Porter screams.)

Cut to the St Regis. Phoebe and Leo rush into a hallway. They turn a corner where there are no people.

Phoebe: Okay, let's orb. (Adam walks around the corner.)

Adam: Phoebe. Where are you going? Who is this guy?

Phoebe: This is my brother-in-law. Something's happened and I gotta get home. I'm really sorry, Adam.

Adam: Then let me give you a ride. (Cole shows up.)

Cole: Don't go anywhere with this guy. (Phoebe punches him in the face.)

Phoebe: How could you have done this?

Cole: Ah, done what? (Adam takes Phoebe's hand.)

Adam: Come on.

Leo: Phoebe, wait. (Adam and Phoebe walk away.)

Cole: Leave her alone.

Phoebe: (to Leo) Keep him away from me. (Leo stands in Cole's way.)

Cole: Leo, he's evil.

Leo: Really? And what are you?

Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper and Grams are there. Piper is looking at the fairy tale book.

Piper: So, Red Riding Hood comes into the house and finds the wolf dressed as her Grandmother. As if she wouldn't see through that.

Grams: Skip down.

Piper: Okay, let's see. She says, "Grandmother, what big ears you have."

Grams: The better to hear you with, my dear. (Grams sneaks behind Piper.)

Piper: And then, uh, "what big eyes you have."

Grams: The better to see you with, my dear.

Piper: Yeah, yeah, and then, "what big teeth you have."

Grams: The better to eat you with, my dear! (Piper turns to Grams and screams.)

Cut to outside St Regis. Phoebe and Adam walk outside. Leo follows. The clock is striking midnight. Leo grabs his stomach in pain.

Leo: Piper! (Leo orbs out. Phoebe and Adam stand on the sidewalk.)

Phoebe: What are we doing out here?

(The horse and carriage comes around the corner. Phoebe tries to run but Adam grabs onto her hand. She loses a glass slipper while struggling. The carriage pulls up in front of them and the door magically opens. Adam forces Phoebe into the carriage and shuts the door. The horse and carriage turn into a pumpkin.)

Cut to the castle. The Wicked Witch is watching through the mirror.

Wicked Witch: The end.

Scene: Outside the St Regis. Adam picks up the glass slipper. He walks over to the pumpkin and picks it up. He raises it above his head. Cole walks out.

Cole: Put it down. (Adam turns around with the pumpkin still raised.) Gently.

Adam: The can't. The witch'll kill me.

Cole: So will I. You don't wanna hurt her. (Adam throws the pumpkin and Cole freezes it. He walks over and picks it up.) Oh, what am I gonna do with you? (He unfreezes Adam and punches him in the face.) Keep your hands off my pumpkin.

Cut to the manor. Attic. Leo and the wolf are there. The wolf is growling viciously at Leo. Leo is holding the axe.

Leo: Where's my wife? (The wolf barks.) Where's my wife?! (The wolf spots the fairy tale book and jumps for it.) No!

(Suddenly, the wolf is blown into a million pieces and Piper and Grams fall out of the wolf. They land hard on the ground. Leo drops the axe and rushes over to them.) Piper. (They get up.) Are you okay?

Piper: Yeah, I think so.

Leo: How did you...?

Grams: She blew him up from the inside. (She laughs.) Although it took her long enough.

Piper: Ah, back off Grams. I just saved your ass.

Grams: Ha!

Leo: She's back. (Cole appears, holding the pumpkin.)

Cole: Your sister, and, uh, I had nothing to do with this, I swear.

Piper: Oh, my.

Grams: What are we going to do now?

Piper: Well, we do what we were gonna do in the first place. We find the witch who did this and vanquish her.

Cole: Do you know how to find her?

Piper: No.

Leo: Wait a minute, I think I do. The wolf was trying to get into the book of fairy tales. Perhaps it's a portal of some sort. Although I don't know how we access it.

Piper: Well, we can't. But maybe Little Red Riding Hood can. (She picks up the cloak.) I knew I was gonna have to put on this stupid thing sooner or later. (She puts it on. Grams hands her a vial of potion.)

Grams: Don't forget the potion. Go on, show her who's the most powerful witch of all. (They smile. Piper touches the book and is sucked into it.)

Cut to the castle. The Wicked Witch seems a little worried.

Wicked Witch: Why won't you answer my question? Why won't you tell me what I want to hear?

Apprentice: You know as well as I, that I cannot tell a lie.

Wicked Witch: Damn it. Well then, if I'm not the most powerful witch in the land who is? (Piper appears.)

Piper: Take a wild guess.

Wicked Witch: You? That's not possible. The wolf ate you. I saw it!

Piper: Yeah, well, I didn't agree with him. (She takes out the potion vial.) See if this agrees with you. (She throws the bottle at the witch.)

Wicked Witch: No, I'm melting! I'm melting! I'm melting! (The Wicked Witch melts and disappears. The apprentice is freed from the mirror and then apple, axe, pumpkin, and loaf of bread reappear on their stands. Piper takes off the cloak.)

Apprentice: You saved me.

Piper: Are you the Keeper?

Apprentice: No, his Apprentice. Or... (He looks at the Keepers body on the floor.) At least I was.

Piper: Oh, no. Wait, if he didn't come back to life does that mean my sisters and brother won't either?

Apprentice: No, no, they were victims of fairy tale magic so when you saved the fairy tales, you saved them too. (He looks over at the slipper stand.) A glass slipper is missing. Must mean that story hasn't found a happy ending yet.

Piper: Oh, well, I guess this makes you the new Keeper. (She hands him the cloak.)

Apprentice: I guess so.

Piper: Any idea how I get the heck out of here? (He thinks and gets an idea. He walks over and picks up a pair of sparkly red shoes like on the Wizard of Oz.)

Scene: Manor. Living room. Paige, Leo and Grams are there.

Paige: Alright, can someone please tell me how I got in a coffin?

Grams: You were dead, dear, but bright side, at least now we have something in common.

Head Dwarf: You know, you really ought to get yourself a prince, in case this ever happens again.

Paige: Uh, who are you?

Head Dwarf: We'll send you the bill. Let's go men!

Dwarf#2: Come on, guys, let's go. (The dwarves leave. Porter comes in the doors.)

Porter: Oh my goodness. I just had the scariest run-in ever. I can never look across the street the same way again.

Paige: What happened?

Porter: You became Snow White, Phoebe became Cinderella, and I became Hansel and Gretel. Speaking of Phoebe, where is she? (Phoebe and Cole come down the stairs.)

Phoebe: Paige! You're okay. (Phoebe hugs Paige.)

Cole: Which means the witch is vanquished. So where's... (A swirl of light appears and Piper appears wearing the red shoes.)

Leo: Piper.

Piper: Is everybody okay?

Grams: Well, thanks to you they are. Well, I suppose that means it's time for me to go. (to Leo) Mind giving me a lift?

Piper: Well, why do you have to go at all?

Grams: Because I don't belong here anymore. (She hugs Piper.) See, you thought you needed me, but I was only here to remind you that you don't. Not even for her.

Phoebe: Okay, but what about me? I feel like I didn't get to spend any time with you. (She hugs Piper and Grams.)

Grams: That's okay. I don't stay dead long.

Phoebe: Good point.

Grams: (to Paige) Well, do I at least get a hug goodbye?

Paige: It was great to finally meet you. (She hugs Grams.) Grams.

Grams: Porter, don't worry about a thing. You can keep up with these girls. (She looks at Paige, Piper, and Phoebe, and then hugs Porter.) Be safe, my darlings. (Leo and Grams orb out.)

Porter: So who's gonna take me home? (Phoebe is about to volunteer, but Piper makes Paige volunteer.)

Paige: Oh, Porter, you need to go home don't you? (She grabs her keys and she and Porter walk out the door.)

Piper: Uh, I guess I'm gonna catch up on some sleep. (Piper goes upstairs.)

Phoebe: Okay, you want me to say it, don't you? I was wrong, okay, I'm sorry. I really am.

Cole: It's not your fault. I lost your trust a long time ago I can't expect to earn it back overnight.

Phoebe: I don't think I'm gonna trust anyone any time soon.

Cole: Don't you mean Adam? He was just being used by the witch. He's a good guy.

Phoebe: Really? I don't think I can even tell anymore.

Scene: St Regis. Everyone has gone. Adam picks up the glass slipper. Cole and Phoebe watch him from near by.

Phoebe: What are we doing here?

Cole: Rebuilding your trust. You liked him when you first met him, right?

Phoebe: Yeah. So?

Cole: So, he's not under a spell. Why don't you see if your original instincts were right? Look, I don't want you to fall in love with him, Phoebe. But you need to realise he's not evil.

Phoebe: Why are you doing this?

Cole: Because unless you learn to trust yourself again, you'll never learn to trust me. (Phoebe walks over to Adam. Adam puts the slipper on a chair and they walk off. The slipper disappears. Cole walks out to the center of the room.)

**End of episode…**


	8. 5x03: The Hex Men Pt 1

(Scene: Underworld. A lady warlock named Bast is sitting in a large chair. There is a shriveled little man named Onuj pacing around her chair.)

Bast: The Charmed Ones will never see it coming.

Onuj: Never see what coming, my queen?

Bast: My plan, you ridiculous ass!

Onuj: Oh, yes. What was it again?

Bast: Must I explain it again? (Bast sighs.) I am going to use the Nexus under the Charmed Ones' Manor to trap the three Charmed Ones. Once they are trapped I will move the Nexus and the Manor to an alternate universe where the opposing gender, in this case the men, rule. With the Charmed Ones trapped in another universe, this universe will be open for me to rule.

Onuj: You are brilliant, my queen.

Bast: And don't you forget it.

(Cut to Paige's bedroom. Paige is packing a suitcase and Porter is unpacking it.)

Porter: Why are you leaving again? (Paige puts a blouse in the suitcase.)

Paige: Because Piper's friend is having a baby shower.

Porter: So why can't I go? (Porter takes out the blouse as Paige puts in a skirt.)

Paige: No boys. (Porter takes out the skirt, he walks by Paige and she grabs the skirt and puts it back.)

Porter: I'm not a boy, I'm your brother!

Paige: First off, we are going whether you like it or not. So stop unpacking my suitcase.

Porter: What we need the Power of Four?

Paige: Call for Leo and he will orb for us. (Paige closes the suitcase.)

Porter: So you mean, I'm stuck with Leo for the weekend?

Paige: Yeah, is there a problem?

Porter: Well, it's just I've never been really comfortable around other guys. I've always been the kind of guy who hangs with the girls. (Piper enters the room.)

Piper: Oh, Porter, don't worry about Leo. He is your Whitelighter; he has to be able to adjust to his charges needs.

Paige: When are we leaving?

Porter: (to himself.) Never.

Paige: What?

Porter: Nothing. When are you leaving?

Piper: When Phoebe gets here.

Porter: Do you think she told Cole that she was leaving?

Piper: Why would she need to tell Cole anything? It's not like they are still together.

Porter: Actually, maybe it's a good thing she didn't tell him. Then he would just follow you guys there.

Piper: Exactly. (Outside Phoebe is parking her car.)

Paige: I guess Pheebs is here.

Porter: So I guess you will be going now?

Piper: You guessed right.

Paige: I get Phoebe's suitcase from her room and meet you downstairs, Piper.

Piper: Okay. (Piper leaves the room. Paige is about to when Porter starts talking again.)

Porter: So if I need the Power of Four, tell Leo?

Paige: Yes, Porter! Don't freak, okay? It's only a weekend. (Paige leaves. Porter exits Paige's room and goes to the foyer where Piper and Phoebe are waiting for Paige.)

Phoebe: Where's Paige?

Porter: She went to get your stuff. (Paige comes flying down the stairs. She lands on Porter.)

Piper: Dude, what happened? (A demon walks down the stairs. He has an athame in his hand. Porter freezes him in ice and Piper blows him up. Porter helps Paige stand up.)

Porter: See? What if that had required the Power of Four for that vanquish?

Phoebe: But we didn't. Porter, just relax! You will be fine with Leo. Bye. (Phoebe, Piper, and Paige leave the house and Porter is all alone in the house. He sits down on the couch.)

(Cut to the Underworld. Bast is sitting near a crystal ball. Onuj is behind her, massaging her back.)

Bast: Onuj, the plan is beginning now. I am working on separating the Nexus from the rest of the area. I can sense one Charmed One in the Manor.

Onuj: How do you know it's a Charmed One?

Bast: Who else but a Charmed One would be in there?

Onuj: You are right, my queen.

(Cut to Porter sitting on the couch and reading the Book of Shadows.)

Porter: I thought a big book of spells would be more entertaining than this. (Porter flips the page. Leo orbs in.)

Leo: Hey Porter, where's Piper?

Porter: Oh, she, Paige, and Phoebe left for the baby shower already.

Leo: Already? I didn't get to say good bye.

Porter: I didn't really either. Um…Paige told me that if I need the Power of Four to have you orb for them.

Leo: Of course.

Porter: Leo, I'm scared that maybe…you know, you don't to them and back in time and something happens to me or someone else.

Leo: Porter, I know you are pretty new at this, but there is no need to worry. (Cole shimmers in.) Cole, what are you doing here?

Cole: Where is Phoebe? (Porter stands up.)

Porter: I don't believe we have officially met. (Porter reaches out to shake Cole's hand.) I'm Porter, Phoebe's half-brother.

Cole: Like Paige?

Porter: Yeah, she's my full sister though. (Leo approaches Porter and Cole. Leo grabs Porter's shoulder.)

Leo: Okay, Porter, I think it's time for Cole to be leaving.

Cole: I just want to know where Phoebe is. (Leo pushes Cole's shoulder.)

Leo: She's gone.

(Cut to the Underworld. Bast is sitting in her chair.)

Bast: Got 'em. The Charmed Ones are all in the Manor. Do it now Onuj! (Onuj begins to chant as he stirs a black potion.)

(Cut to the living room. Porter, Leo, and Cole are still standing there. Leo is standing between Porter and Cole and holding Porter back to protect him.)

(Cut to the outside of the Manor. A pentagram appears around the house and spins around. The house separates from the ground and disappears into a black hole in the sky.)

(Cut back to the inside. Porter, Leo, and Cole are being thrown about the house. They are knocked out by flying objects.)


	9. 5x03: The Hex Men Pt 2

(Scene: The inside of the dark closet in Phoebe's room. Porter is inside. The door is cracked slightly. Porter hears the front door open. Two women enter, carrying whips.)

Woman 1: There are men in here. I know it, I can smell them.

Woman 2: You have learned to trust your instincts so I believe you. (The women creep around to the living room where Cole is on the couch.)

Woman 1: Man alert! (She blows a whistle. Cole gets up and sits up.)

Cole: Who are you?

Woman 1: Your captors. (She touches Cole's chest and he is bound in chains.)

Cole: Phoebe! Piper? Paige?

Woman 2: Shut the hell up, you stupid bastard! (She whips him.)

Woman 1: Come with us. You will serve the Queen.

Cole: Queen? What Queen?

Woman 2: Shut up! (The women and Cole leave. Porter steps out of the closet.)

Porter: (Whispering) Leo! Leo! (He steps into the hall and walks into Piper's room. No Leo. He walks into Paige's room. No Leo. He walks into the bathroom. Leo is in the bathtub asleep.) Leo! Leo! Wake up! (Leo doesn't wake up. He blows a gentle breathe and Leo turns blue and wakes up.)

Leo: Porter, what the hell?

Porter: Sorry, but something weird just happened.

Leo: What?

Porter: Two women who were all dominatrix-like came in here and took Cole and told him that they were taking him to serve the Queen…whoever that is.

Leo: Where's Piper?

Porter: Not here, obviously. But I don't know where here is.

Leo: How do you know we aren't still in San Francisco?

Porter: Does San Francisco have a Queen? (Leo shakes his head.) Alright then. Do think maybe the Book of Shadows is still here, Leo?

Leo: I don't know. Help me up please, Porter. (Porter helps Leo get up. They step into the hall and hear the door open.) Porter! It must be those women again, you go to the attic and look for the book and I'll hold them back.

Porter: Okay. (Porter runs to the attic and hears Leo yell.) Oh crap! (Porter runs to the attic and slams the door. He looks around the room. Everything is covered with dusty white sheets.) Man, it looks like no one has been here ever. (Porter walks to the back window. The sun is shining through the stained glass and the light hits a pedestal covered with a sheet. Porter lifts up the sheet. The Book of Shadows is underneath it.) Leo! I found the book! (Porter hears foot steps.)

Woman 1: I knew I sensed another man in this house!

Woman 2: Just another slave for the Queen.

Porter: I can't become a slave, if I do I can't save Leo or Cole. (The women are knocking on the door.)

Woman 1: Let us in, man. (Porter flips through the book to find a spell. Suddenly a knife pokes through the door. Porter flips faster.)

Porter: Oh crap, no spell. (A small hole appears in the door.) Uh…um…Take my Y and trade it for an X, now make me look like the opposite sex. (A bright little surrounds Porter, as if he was about to glamour, but he stays the same. The door breaks open. The two women are wearing hooded cloaks.)

Woman 1: I thought there was a man in this room. (She looks towards were Porter was standing but now there is a girl standing there. She looks like a combination of Paige, Piper, Prue, and Phoebe.)

Woman 2: Who are you and what are you doing?

Porter: My name is Porte- I mean…um…Portia! My name is Portia.

Woman 1: What are you doing here, Portia? This is a forbidden ground.

Porter/Portia: It is? I'm so sorry. I guess I'll be leaving now. (Porter/Portia begins to leave.)

Woman 1: (to Woman 2) Do you think we should bring her to the Queen?

Woman 2: (to Woman 1) I guess.

Woman 1: Halt! (Porter/Portia stops walking and turns around.)

Porter/Portia: Yes?

Woman 2: We need to talk you to the Queen.

Porter/Portia: Why?

Woman 1: All newcomers to the empire, female or otherwise, must see the Queen.

Porter/Portia: Okay…wait. Empire? And who is the Queen?

Woman 1: After her husband left her, the Queen enslaved all of mankind to do work for all of womankind. We do not know the Queen's name as she is very secretive. We will take you to her so she can assign you your slave.

Porter/Portia: (unsurely.) Okay, take me away. (Porter/Portia turns his/her back to the women as they put there hoods down. Under the hoods are Piper and Paige. They blindfold Porter/Portia.)

(Cut to a work room. There are many men in the room doing various jobs. The men are all shirtless and bound in chains. Leo and Cole are among the crowd, pounding nails into mannequin legs at a table.)

Leo: Cole, although Phoebe would attest to us working together, we have no choice. Now how are we going to get out?

Cole: Maybe I can become Belthazor. I mean, I haven't seen the girls here so maybe that means they don't exist and therefore they didn't vanquish Belthazor.

Leo: A hideous red demon would stick out too much. There has to be someway out…hm…maybe I can try to orb out of these chains.

Cole: So a demon would stick out, but a man disappearing and reappearing in a column of blue light wouldn't?

Leo: You're right. (A woman passes their table. She has a whip in her hand. As she walks by she has a stern look on her face. Leo and Cole silence immediately.)

Cole: What other options do we have?

Leo: We can hope Porter got to the Book of Shadows, but if the sisters don't exist he might not be able to use magic at all. We can only hope he's out there somewhere trying to save us.

(Cut to the inside of the blindfold. Paige cuts it off of Porter/Portia. He/She opens his/her eyes to see Phoebe sitting on a throne with long blonde hair and a massive tiara on her head. Porter/Portia gasps.)

Phoebe: Who have you brought to me?

Piper: This is Portia Madison.

Porter: (In his head.) That sounds like Piper.

Phoebe: Ah, yes, a fine old name. What am I to do for Miss Madison?

Paige: Assign her a slave.

Porter: (In his head.) And that sounds like Paige.

Phoebe: Yes, well, I shall allow Miss Madison to wonder the bunch freely for an able slave. (Phoebe claps her hands. Paige puts her hand up.)

Paige: Portia Madison! (Porter/Portia orbs away.)

(Cut to the slave work room. Leo and Cole are still steadily at work, when a group of men in front of them begin to stand up and hoot, whistle, and holler.)

Cole: What the hell is going on?

Leo: Beats me. Let's go check it out. (They begin to walk to the front when the woman appears to them.)

Woman: You will have to wait your turn. A woman is picking a slave. (Porter/Portia walks up next to the woman.)

Porter/Portia: How many slaves am I allowed?

Woman: One per customer! (She cracks her whip at the ground.)

Porter/Portia: Well, I have made my decision!

Woman: And who will that be? (Porter/Portia points at Leo.)

Porter/Portia: Him! (Leo looks bewildered and frightened at the same time.)

Woman: Very well, I will check him out of the registry. (Woman walks away.)

Porter/Portia: Sorry Cole.

Cole: It's alright…wait. How do you know my name? (Porter/Portia looks down.)

Porter/Portia: Oh. (His/her body glows and it temporarily flashes back to Porter and flashes back to Portia.)

Leo: Porter?

Porter/Portia: In the flesh. I casted a gender switching spell and I was taken to the Queen who turns out to be Phoebe, and the weirdest thing of all is that her flunkies that took you two away—

Leo, Cole: Are Paige and Piper.

Porter/Portia: Yeah. So they told me that I would pick a slave so I chose Leo, but I have a plan to get you out Cole. (He grabs Cole's hand.) Take this man's Y and trade it for an X, now make him look like the opposite sex. (Cole glows and the chains break off. Where he was now stands a woman about 25 who looks like Phoebe and Prue put together. The woman comes back.)

Woman: Okay, I checked him out. His birth name was Leo Wyatt but you can rename him anything you want.

Porter/Portia: No, he can keep his name. I just plan on calling him "Hey you!" (The woman turns to Cole.)

Woman: Excuse me, but who are you?

Cole: I'm- - -

Porter/Portia: This is Cole…mantha. Yes, Colemantha. (Leo giggles.) Did I say you could smile slave?

Leo: No, my mistress.

Woman: Well, Miss Portia, Miss Colemantha, slave, you best be getting out of here. (She unlocks Leo's chains and they leave. As they leave, she eyes a security camera.)

(Cut to the foyer. Leo, Cole, and Porter enter as themselves.)

Cole: So let me be the first to say that we're screwed.

Leo: We are not screwed.

Porter: It's gonna take a Power of Four spell to get us out of here and last time I checked a witch, an angel, and a demon does not a Power of Four make.

Leo: If only there were someway that we could cross the universal divide and reach out to one of the sisters.

Cole: Well, I remember when I was in the demonic wasteland, Phoebe astral projected there somehow.

Porter: Did she cast a spell?

Cole: I believe so. Before she disappeared, I could hear chanting, so I guess so.

Porter: Maybe I can find the spell in the Book of Shadows. Do you know what it was called?

Cole: No.

Porter: Alright, great start! I'm gonna go get the book.

(Time lapse. Porter is sitting surrounded by a circle of white candles. The book is open to the 'To Find a Lost Love' spell. Leo and Cole are outside of it.)

Porter: Okay, if anyone tries to come in, you stop them, 'kay? (Porter is writing something on a piece of paper.)

Leo: What are you writing?

Porter: The reversal spell. If I keep it in my pocket I should have it too, right?

Leo: I don't see why not.

Porter: Okay, here goes nothing. Wither my love, wherever you be. through time and space, take my heart near to thee. (Porter faints.)

(Cut to an empty room. There is a table with food on it and Phoebe is filling a plate with food. Porter astral projects in next to her. She gasps.)

Phoebe: Porter! What are you doing here?

Porter: You, Paige, and Piper need to get home ASAP! Leo, Cole, and I are trapped in an alternate universe and it's gonna take all of the Power of Four to get us home.

Phoebe: How did you get trapped? And what the hell is Cole doing with you?

Porter: I'll explain later. Much later. Right now, you need to read the reversal spell to send me back. (Porter hands her the paper from his pocket.)

Phoebe: (quickly) Return my love, how near or how far, return my love and go back to where you are. (Porter disappears.)

(Cut to the attic. Porter wakes up.)

Porter: Phoebe got the message.

To be continued…


	10. 5x03: The Hex Men Pt 3

(Scene: The Manor. Attic. Phoebe, Paige, and Piper walk in.)

Piper: And just when I thought I could have a semi-normal day, Porter astral projects to Phoebe and tells us to come home!

Phoebe: Calm down, Piper. You remember last time you bitched about a normal life. The Source made you think you were in an insane asylum.

Piper: I know, I know. So, how are we supposed to know what to do if Porter didn't tell you anything.

Paige: Maybe we can contact him some how. (Porter appears.)

Porter: Yes, I am in astral form. Leo, Cole, and I are looking for a spell or a potion of some sort, but whatever we do, it has to be done on both sides of the reality veil. (Porter disappears.)

(Cut to the Manor in the other dimension. Attic. Leo is moving the book pages. Porter wakes up again.)

Porter: Did you find anything Leo?

Leo: One thing that may work. It's a potion that opens a ripple between dimensions. Use the spell again and tell them.

Porter: Wither my love, wherever you be. Through time and space, take my heart near to thee. (Porter faints.)

(Cut to the other Manor. Attic. The girls are still there.)

Porter: Leo found a potion that will open a ripple between this dimension and the other. (Porter goes over to the book and flips the pages.) Here it is. (He rips the page out of the book and hands it to Piper.) Go start the potion Piper.

Piper: On it.

Porter: Phoebe, is there any white chalk here? (Phoebe looks through a few boxes.) Paige, when Phoebe finds the chalk, draw a triquetra on the North wall of the attic and then throw the potion on it. Okay?

Paige: Got it. (Porter disappears.)

(Time lapse. Porter, Leo, and Cole walk into the attic.)

Leo: You told the girls what to do, right Porter?

Porter: Before I left, Piper started to make the potion, and Paige was drawing the triquetra. Now, I will do the same. (Porter draws a triquetra.)

Cole: What if this doesn't work?

Leo: Then Porter will go back to his sisters and they can try something else.

Porter: Okay, its now or never. (Porter throws the potion. The triquetra turns blue and on the other side, the girls are standing in the attic. Paige throws the potion and the other half of the triquetra 

turns blue. Cole, Leo, and Porter are sucked through to the other side. The triquetra on the wall disappears. Paige runs up to Porter.)

Paige: Porter, your back.

Porter: Yeah, I guess you are going back to the baby shower, huh?

Paige: Nope, we told Piper's friend we had to leave and left it at that. (Piper hugs Leo.)

Piper: I missed you. (Leo smiles at her. Phoebe walks over to Cole.)

Phoebe: Cole, what the hell were you doing here?

Cole: I came to talk to you, but I didn't know you left. Why didn't you tell me?

Phoebe: Because I don't want anything to do with you, and if I keep telling you about my personal life, it will prevent both of us from moving on.

Cole: Phoebe, I…

Phoebe: Cole, I won't listen to it. Just get out of here. (Cole shimmers out.)

Porter: Phoebe, what did Cole do to you that was so bad? I like him, he seems nice.

Phoebe: Yeah, because you haven't known him as long as us.

Paige: So now Porter and Leo are back, now what do we do?

Porter: I would say find the demon or warlock who sent us there, but since we don't know who that is, I say just relax. It's good to be in an equal sex world again. (Piper, Phoebe, and Paige look at him weird.) It's a long story.

End of episode.


	11. 5x04: Witches In Tights Pt 1

(Scene: A club. It is packed with men and women dancing and having a good time. Piper walks through the crowd and catches Leo dancing.)

Piper: What are you doing?

Leo: DJ's really good, huh?

Piper: Yeah, too bad she was never really good at P3.

Leo: Right, sorry.

Piper: Focus. We are here on business not pleasure.

Leo: Okay, I know, I know. But don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit?

Piper: No, I don't. This club has become the hottest thing in town since P3 closed. Actually, P3 has never had a crowd this big. I don't understand what we were doing wrong.

Leo: Piper, we didn't do anything wrong. P3 was named one of the hottest clubs in San Francisco.

Piper: Yeah, too bad I decided to close it.

Leo: Piper, your priorities have changed. You know, we're thinking about starting a family and all.

Piper: Yeah, well, haven't you heard? Women can have careers and babies now, it's been in all the papers.

Leo: Well, are those women trying to save the world from demons too? (Piper spots two people making out on a couch.)

Piper: Ugh. Oh, for god's sakes, people, get a room. (They stop kissing. It's Paige.)

Paige: Oh, Piper. (Paige nervously giggles.) What are you doing are? (She stands up.)

Piper: Paige, I could ask you the same question.

Paige: Oh, you know, just hanging out.

Piper: You never hung out like this at P3.

Guy: This place has a great DJ though.

Paige: Uh..um… this is my other sister, Piper and her husband Leo. This is Dave.

Leo: Nice to meet you. (Leo and Dave shake hands.)

Dave: Yeah, you too, mate. Thanks.

Piper: I didn't know there was a Dave.

Paige: Oh, we've only been hanging out for like three weeks.

Piper: Weeks? (Phoebe comes up to Paige and hands her a drink.)

Phoebe: Here you go. (She spots Piper.) Oh, hi, Piper. Hey, hey, wow, you're up late. What are you doing here?

Piper: Right back at ya.

Leo: Dave, how about I buy you a drink.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Dave: I've got one, thanks.

Leo: That's not gonna be enough. (Leo and Dave walk away.)

Piper: Thought you said you were working tonight.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, I mean, I'm actually working here, you know, I thought that guys could help me with my advice to other guys, you know. And that-that guy over there with the dimples... Hi! Yeah, huge help.

Piper: Well, see, yeah, I don't know what bugs me more. The fact that you guys are here or that you're here without me.

Paige: Well, we just didn't think it would be good for the baby, you know, all the noise and the people.

Piper: Yeah, I know, but sometimes it's good for the mummy to get out.

Paige: Okay, so you would've wanted to come?

Piper: No. But that is beside the point.

Paige: You're a very confusing woman.

Piper: It's alright, hey, it's no big deal. You guys, I'll see you at home. (She walks away.)

Phoebe: Oh, Piper.

Paige: Still think this is a good idea?

Phoebe: Well, you know Piper. She won't slow down unless someone slows her down. I just don't want to do anything to add to her stress.

(Scene: Outside a building. It's dark. A boy is there drawing on a notepad. A demon appears.)

Demon: You seem stressed.

Boy: Arnon, you scared me.

Arnon: What are you doing out here?

Boy: Door's locked so I thought I'd practise drawing while I waited.

Arnon: Good.

Boy: Not really. I don't know, I just can't seem to make it work. I've done everything you've said, tried to focus.

Arnon: Then you're not trying hard enough. You have a special gift, Kevin, a very special gift. If you're to master it, you have to believe in it fully. You draw to see it better but it'll never be real, not unless you make it real in your mind's eye. Make it real, Kevin. Make it come to life.

(Kevin completes his drawing and stares at it. A tiger appears near by.)

Kevin: Oh my god, it worked! (The tiger growls.) Okay, how do we make it go away?

(Arnon rips the page out of the book and tears it in half. The tiger disappears.)

Arnon: Now, it's time to make that hero of yours real too, to take care of your little problem. And then, take care of mine.

(Cut to another part of the dark alley. Kevin turns a corner and a guy walks up to him.)

Guy: What are you doing here, fool?

Kevin: I'm just trying to get home, Caz.

Caz: Listen! (He pushes Kevin. Two other guys stand behind Kevin.) We've had this conversation. This is where I do my business. Alright, and I don't like getting bothered. (Kevin looks at the guys behind him.)

Guy 2: Turn around.

Caz: It's gonna cost you. (He grabs Kevin's bag.)

Kevin: Hey! (He pulls out his drawing book and looks at a drawing.)

Caz: What is this? Is this me? Getting my ass kicked by you? (He hits Kevin across the face and Kevin falls to the ground. Caz throws the book at Kevin.) Catch ya next time, little man. (They walk away. The wind blows the book open. Kevin smiles at a drawing of a superhero.)

Cut to an office. Caz and a guy are there. The place is trashed. Caz picks up a bag of stuff.

Caz: Alright, that's enough, let's get outta here. (They start to leave and they see a superhero standing near the door. He is covered in black leather and wearing a black mask across his eyes.) What is this, Halloween? Who the hell are you, fool?

Superhero: I'm the Aggressor.

Caz: The Aggressor? Whoever you are you just made a serious mistake. (The guy gets out a knife and attacks the Aggressor. The Aggressor moves behind the guy in the blink of an eye.)

Aggressor: Behind you. (He grabs the guy and throws him across the room. Caz gets out a gun and shoots at the Aggressor. The Aggressor deflects the bullets with his hand and they hit Caz. The Aggressor leaves in the blink of an eye.)

(Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper is making a huge sandwich. Porter walks in through the back door, wearing a backpack.)

Porter: Morning.

Piper: Morning.

Porter: Whoa. Mustard, pickles and hot fudge sauce? Are you really going to eat that?

Piper: That was the plan. You need a ride to school?

Porter: No, Paige said she would take me. Speaking of Paige, where is she? (Paige orbs in next to Porter. Porter screams.) Geez, Paige. Can you warn a guy next time?

Paige: Good morning to you too, Porter. Morning, Piper.

Piper: Did you just get home?

Paige: Yeah. (She looks at Piper's sandwich.) Does that have bologna and ketchup?

Piper: Yes. I've been having these weird cravings lately and I feel like I am eating for three or four people. Wait a minute, you haven't been home all night?

Paige: No, mom. Why?

Piper: I swear I must be going crazy- - -

Porter: You must be if you are going to eat that. (Piper makes a face at Porter. He sits down at the table.)

Piper: As I was saying, I swear I saw you in your room last night when I walked by.

Paige: Was it about 2:30? Was I half-dressed?

Piper: Paige, what's going on?

Paige: Well, after I went to the club with Dave, we went back to his house and… you know…started messing around.

Piper: Messing around?

Paige: Yeah. You know… (Paige looks at Porter.) Having…sex. (Porter makes a disgusted face.)

Porter: Ugh. Spare me the details. (Porter covers his ears.)

Paige: Well, anyway, so we were doing, you know, and I was about to, you know, and suddenly I orbed out upstairs.

Piper: Oh my god, you didn't? Did he notice?

Paige: No, thank god, I orbed back in before the lights came back on. Talk about embarrassing.

Piper: Forget embarrassing. Paige, you could've had some serious explaining to do.

Paige: Well, I didn't plan on orbing out, Piper, it wasn't exactly my particular goal at the moment.

Piper: Okay, so why do you think this is happening? I mean, is he not getting the job done?

Paige: No, he's getting the job done fine. I think I like him a lot and other than Glen, he's been the first guy I've been with since I found out I was a witch and I think I'm so busy protecting this big old secret of ours that I can't really let my guard down. How'd you do it?

Piper: Marry an angel. (They hear a crash and Leo groaning in another room.) Leo?

(Cut to the conservatory. Leo and an Elder are on the floor. Looks like Leo orbed onto a coffee table. They get up.)

Leo: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, are you alright?

Elder: Been orbing long have we?

Leo: Hey, I'm a little nervous. (Piper, Paige, and Porter walk in.)

Piper: Leo, what happened? We heard a crash.

Elder: He missed.

Piper: Uh, who's the critic?

Leo: This is Ramus, he's an Elder.

Piper: An Elder? Really?

Paige: I thought you told us he wasn't coming 'til tonight?

Piper: Told us? Nobody told me anything. Leo?

Leo: Well, we didn't want you to worry about demonic threats until it was absolutely necessary.

Piper: What threats?

Ramus: Well, I suppose this will have to do. (He walks across the room.)

Piper: Okay, uh, what are you all up to?

Paige: It was Phoebe's idea.

Leo: We were just trying to make things a little easier. That's all, relieve some stress.

Piper: Well, stop it, 'cause it's pissing me off. There's nothing wrong with me, well, other than a sour stomach, but that's not stress related. So, what is he doing here?

Leo: Uh, Ramus is retiring. He came down to pass on his powers to a new Elder.

Piper: So...

Leo: So? There isn't a demon alive who wouldn't love to have his powers. So the Elders want you to protect him in case there's an attack.

Porter: Why can't he just orb out?

Ramus: Because my powers are mental, little boy, not physical. You'd think a charge of yours would know something as basic as that.

Porter: Well, sorry but I haven't been at this for very long. (Ramus walks around the room.)

Paige: Nothing wrong with his hearing.

Piper: No, just his attitude.

Leo: Piper!

Piper: What?

Leo: A little respect.

Piper: Ugh, for crying out loud. So who is this new Elder and when does he get here?

Ramus: We don't know who he is. All I know is that the transfer must take place during tonight's equinox or else I will lose my powers forever.

Piper: So we're just supposed to sit around here and wait?

Ramus: Yes. Unfortunately.

Porter: Well, I can't sit around here and wait. Paige, school time soon.

Paige: Right. Keys. (Paige's car keys orb into her hand.) Come on. (She and Porter walk to the door.)

Porter: At least brush your hair a little. (He reorganizes her hair as they open and step out the door.)

(Time lapse. Paige pulls up in front of the school. Porter hops out of the car. There is a big circle of people in a large crowd, in the back parking lot, all chanting something.)

Porter: Thanks Paige. (Porter walks over to a girl on the outside of the circle.) Daphne, what's going on?

Daphne: Troy Fitzgerald is beating up that weirdo Kevin. You know, the one from math class who's always drawing?

Porter: Oh. Wait? Kevin is getting beaten up? (Daphne nods her head. Porter pushes through the crowd.)

Crowd: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!! (Porter reaches the middle of the circle where Troy has his foot on Kevin's head which he is driving into the ground.)

Porter: (To himself.) I have to stop this, but I should probably prepare my self incase I get to involved. Um…In this night and in this hour, I call upon the ancient power. Help me now in this darkest time as you hear the sound of this rhyme. Give me the courage to win any fight, increase my strength, increase my might.

Crowd: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!!

Porter: (Outloud.) Everybody stop!! (The crowd stops yelling and pumping their fists in the air. Troy removes his foot from Kevin's head.) Troy, back off Kevin.

Troy: What? What did you say, you little bastard?

Porter: I said stop.

Troy: Or what?

Porter: You know, Troy, you act like a tough guy, but I bet that's not the real Troy Fitzgerald. I bet you like to sit at home and sip tea with your mommy and then go shopping for new dresses and high heels and make-up. Am I in the ballpark?

Troy: Why you little. (Troy throws a punch. Porter puts up his forearm and blocks it. With his other hand, he grabs Troy's arm and twists it and then pushes Troy to the ground.) Nobody embarrasses Troy Fitzgerald. (Troy does a spinning low kick, but Porter jumps up and dodges it. Troy gets up and tries to punch Porter again. Again he blocks it, grabs his arm, and jumps over Troy's back.)

Porter: And nobody speaks in the first person. (He kicks Troy in the butt and Troy goes flying forward. The crowd clears away, leaving Kevin on his back on the ground. Porter walks over to him.) Here Kevin, I'll help you up.

Kevin: Wow that was amazing. Who are you?

Porter: Porter Madison, we are in the same math class.

Kevin: I've never noticed you before.

Porter: Yeah, but you're always drawing though.

Kevin: Yeah. (Porter helps Kevin up and the bell rings.)

Porter: We'd better hurry. (Kevin picks up his backpack and his drawing book falls out.) Kevin? (Porter bends down and picks up the book.) What's this? (Porter flips through the book. He looks at the picture of Kevin beating up Caz.)

Kevin: Hey! Give that back! (Porter moves away.)

Porter: Kevin, if you are trying to hide this you shouldn't. Your pictures are amazing.

Kevin: I guess, art is the only class I'm acing. (Porter flips to the page with the Aggressor on it. He shows Kevin.)

Porter: Kevin, who is this?

Kevin: It's nobody. (He grabs the book from Porter and runs away.) I have to go.

Porter: But Kevin, we have to go to class.

To be continued…


	12. 5x04: Witches In Tights Pt 2

(Cut to an abandoned building. There are parts of aeroplanes scattered around the place. Kevin walks in.)

Kevin: Arnon?

(Arnon appears in a chair.)

Arnon: I was getting worried about you, Kevin.

Kevin: Arnon, you scared me.

Arnon: Sorry. Where's the Aggressor?

Kevin: He's, he's gone. I ripped up the drawing.

Arnon: You what?

Kevin: He killed a guy. Arnon, he killed Caz.

Arnon: Isn't that why you wanted me to help you create your superhero in the first place?

Kevin: No, not to kill. I never wanted that.

Arnon: He was a bad guy, wasn't he? Just like Ramus is.

Kevin: I'm not drawing him again. Arnon, I'm sorry.

Arnon: We had a deal. I help you, you help me, remember? Now, I need the Aggressor to take out Ramus. To rid him of his powers.

Kevin: Why can't you just take him out yourself?

Arnon: I told you. I only have the ability to sense great powers, not possess them. That's how I found you, that's how I'll find Ramus. Now, help me do the right thing, Kevin. Bring your superhero back to life, before somebody else loses theirs.

(Cut to The Bay Mirror. Phoebe's office. Phoebe is there working on her laptop. Her assistant walks in with a box full of letters.)

Phoebe: Those are all life and death?

Assistant: Well, not literally. At least, not most of them.

Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? I can't keep up, they just keep coming.

Assistant: What can you do? Answer two or three a day and ignore the rest. You can't help everybody. I still can't believe Elise fled town on such short notice.

Phoebe: Yeah, me neither. And the problem is that I can't help everyone. I wish I could. (The phone rings.) I got it, thanks. (The assistant leaves.) Phoebe Halliwell.

Piper: So what do you say to an over bearing younger sister who's treating her older sister like a porcelain doll?

Phoebe: Thank you?

Piper: How about knock it off.

Phoebe: That's probably better advice. Are you mad at me?

Piper: No, not if you come home and baby sit Ramus.

Phoebe: Oh, sweetie, I can't. I've got a gazillion letters that I have to get to.

Piper: Well, Bored in Berkley can wait. Porter called me from school and told me about a kid.

Phoebe: What about a kid?

Piper: Porter said that he had a strange sense about the kid, something slightly demonic. Must be the whitelighter really coming out of him.

Phoebe: I'm sorry I am swamped here. Okay, look, what about Paige? Can't she come?

Piper: Interesting choice of words, but apparently not. She's with Dave trying desperately not to orb.

Phoebe: Oh, for goodness sakes. Okay, well, what about, um... (Cole stands at the doorway. He clears his throat.) Cole.

Piper: Cole, watching an Elder? I really don't think that's a good idea.

Phoebe: No, um… you... Okay, I'll be home as soon as I can, okay? (Phoebe hangs up.)

Cole: Phoebe.

Phoebe: Whatever it is, I don't have time.

Cole: No, you don't understand, this isn't about us. I need your help.

Phoebe: Yeah, who doesn't?

Cole: Have you ever heard of Edward Miller, the slumlord? He took millions from the city and renovation money but instead of fixing up the building he's trying to kick the tenants out.

Phoebe: Well, how is he able to do that?

Cole: I don't know but that's why I'm trying to get an injunction to stop him.

Phoebe: Oh, really? You? What's with all the red tape? Why don't you just turn him into a fountain pen?

Cole: Believe me, I'm tempted but, um, I've decided I'm not gonna use my powers no matter what.

Phoebe: Since when?

Cole: Since you left the house and my shimmering in got me, Porter, and Leo stuck in another dimension. (Phoebe grabs her coat and bag and leaves her office.)

Phoebe: (to her assistant) I'll be working from home for the rest of the day.

Cole: Phoebe, listen to me. This is legitimate. These people are going to be evicted tonight and I can't get an injunction until tomorrow. I mean, if you could just threaten to expose him in your paper or maybe even link it to a TV station.

Phoebe: Cole, I don't have enough time to help my readers with their problems right now.

Cole: But we're talking about whole families here. Kids, babies, with nowhere to go.

Phoebe: Look, I think it's great that you want to help, I really do. But I can't. I am powerless to do anything right now.

Cole: You may be a lot of things but powerless isn't one of them. (Cole walks away.)

Assistant: Was he talking about Edward Miller, the slumlord? (Phoebe nods.) Actually, you did get some letters from some of his tenants.

Phoebe: Really? I haven't seen them.

Assistant: No, you haven't gotten to them.

(Cut to Dave's apartment. Paige and Dave are lying in bed.)

Dave: Did you?

Paige: No.

Dave: Didn't think so.

Paige: It's not you, Dave. Trust me, it's me.

Dave: You keep saying that, Paige, but what does that mean?

Paige: It's complicated.

Dave: Well, you're in luck. 'Cause I happen to specialize in complicated. Come on, talk to me, you won't scare me away.

Paige: Promise?

Dave: Mm-hm.

Paige: It's just that I'm really different than other girls.

Dave: I know, that's what I like about you.

Paige: No, I mean, really different, more than you could possibly imagine.

Dave: Okay.

Paige: So you're alright with that?

Dave: Alright with what?

Paige: Forget it.

Dave: Forget what?

Paige: Look, I'm not a freak, it's not like I have a tail or something.

Dave: Paige, I don't know what you're talking about.

Paige: Just forget I said anything.

Dave: But you didn't say anything.

Paige: You know, I think I got closer that time. You want to try again? (They kiss.)

(Cut to the Manor. Parlor. Ramus is meditating in mid-air. He has a blue light surrounding him.)

Piper: Leo? (Piper walks in.) Leo! (Ramus falls to the floor.) What are you doing?

Ramus: Would you mind? My meditation requires peace and quiet.

Piper: Well, then you're in the wrong house, pal. Have you seen my husband?

Ramus: He's upstairs.

Piper: Okay, could you tell him that I'll be at P3. He can watch over you until Phoebe shows up.

Ramus: I'll tell him no such thing. It is your job to protect me, not his. Those are the rules.

Piper: Hm. Well, history lesson. I'm not a big fan of your rules; in fact I take pride in breaking them.

Ramus: I know, you've been a real pain over the years.

Piper: Oh, you mean marrying Leo? Yes, I know you Elders were dead set against that.

Ramus: Not all of us. Some of us foresaw the special baby you'd be having.

Piper: Still, that doesn't... What do you mean special? (Porter walks in through the front door.) Whoa. What are you doing here?

Porter: Did I walk in to the wrong house?

Piper: No, it's only 2:00. You should be in school.

Porter: Piper, school is over.

Piper: Oh.

Ramus: He used magic to beat up a mortal. (Piper's jaw drops. Porter makes a guilty face.)

Piper: Porter. You used magic to beat up a mortal?

Porter: Well, technically. Wait, how did the Elder know?

Ramus: Telepathy.

Piper: Doesn't matter. Porter, I can't believe you were so reckless. Nobody heard you say the spell, did they?

Porter: No! I said it very quietly.

Piper: Well, I still can't believe that you did it. I know you are still new to this, but your spell might have consequences. Personal gain and all.

Porter: But it wasn't personal. I saved Kevin, that's the kid, from a mob of people.

Piper: So you did magic in front of a crowd? Geez, Porter! (Phoebe walks in just as a lamp explodes.)

Phoebe: What's going on here?

Piper: Oh, nothing. Just your run of the mill school day magic. (Phoebe looks at Porter.)

Phoebe: You used magic?

Porter: Yes, I used a spell that I made up. It enhanced my fighting skills.

Phoebe: Okay, very cool spell, but I can't believe- - -

Porter: That I was so reckless. I already heard this from Piper. Geez, is this that good cop, bad cop thing, but with two bad cops? Besides, don't you think we should get back to Ramus?

Piper: Fine.

Phoebe: (to Ramus) Hi, wow. (She shakes his hand.) It is an honor and a pleasure to meet an Elder... sir... really... wow. Okay, but I've got to go. I'm sorry, but if I don't stop that dirt bag landlord...

Ramus: Oh.

Piper: What's the matter?

Ramus: Someone's coming... for me. (The Aggressor appears in a blink of an eye.)

Aggressor: Ramus.

Phoebe: Porter, ice him. (Porter blows over his palm. The ground under the Aggressor's feet freeze.)

Porter: Whoa, the orbs didn't settle. (The Aggressor goes for Ramus, but Phoebe pushes Ramus out of the way.) Paige! (Paige orbs in wearing nothing but an oversized baby doll nightgown.)

Paige: Damn it! I was almost there too.

Aggressor: I don't wanna hurt you, I just want him.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, forget about it. (Phoebe goes to kick him and he grabs her leg and pushes her across the room. Leo runs down the stairs.)

Leo: Ramus! (He dives on Ramus and orbs out with him. The Aggressor leaves in a blink of an eye.)

Phoebe: Who was that masked man?

(Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and Porter walk in. Paige is now wearing a bathrobe.)

Paige: Okay, we should look under... actually I have no idea what to look under.

Piper: Well, he had a great big giant A on his chest, how about A?

Porter: I'm telling you, you are not gonna find him in the Book of Shadows. At a comic book convention, maybe. (Paige starts flipping through the Book of Shadows.)

Paige: He could still be a demon.

Porter: Paige, he was in tights. (Leo orbs in.)

Leo: Ramus is safe for now but he can't stay up there for long or else he will miss the equinox.

Phoebe: Oh, can't he just wait for the next one.

Leo: No, he can't otherwise he will miss his chance to pass on his powers to his successor.

Phoebe: But tonight's my only night to help the families being evicted, otherwise they'll be on the streets.

Piper: Uh, Phoebe, I think super villains trump slumlords.

Leo: Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from? (Paige covers herself with her robe.)

Paige: I was dealing with some personal problems.

Leo: Well, I'm your Whitelighter, so if you ever want to talk...

Piper/Paige/Porter: No!

Phoebe: Can we please just concentrate on the comic book guy?

Piper: Well, comic books wouldn't be a bad place to start. Remember the demon of illusion?

Paige/Porter: No.

Leo: He was before both of your times. He literally hid in movies. (Porter nods.)

Porter: So, this guy could really be hiding in comics or coming out of them somehow.

Paige: So we need to check comic book stores?

Phoebe: Oh, that's gonna take forever.

Paige: Alright, you just go deal with your slumlord; I'll catch up with you later.

Phoebe: No, its okay, we should do it together.

Paige: No, if I see some dude in tights, I'll just orb out.

Phoebe: Paige, it's dangerous, you shouldn't do it alone.

Porter: I can go with her.

Piper: Okay, so while Phoebe is out facing a bastard slumlord, and Paige and Porter are out scouting for a demon, what am I supposed to do?

Phoebe: Just stay here and relax.

Piper: I am relaxed.

Porter: You blew up a lamp, I would call that stressed.

Piper: Porter, you made me mad. If you all don't want the entire house blown down, you should stop treating me like I am made of glass or something.

Phoebe: Sorry.

Piper: Okay! So, Phoebe, you go to the slumlord, and Paige, Porter, and I will check the comic shops.

Porter: Before we go, Paige, you might want to change into, well, clothes.

Paige: Right. (Paige runs out of the attic.)

Piper: Let's go. (She and Porter leave.)

(Cut to an abandoned building. Arnon and Kevin are there. Kevin's neck is glowing. He is in pain.)

Arnon: How could the Aggressor fail? You told me you drew him invisible. The equinox comes around once in a lifetime. I don't plan on spending the rest of that life sensing power. I want power, Ramus's power.

Kevin: I tried.

Arnon: Not hard enough. (Arnon releases the light on Kevin's neck. Kevin coughs.) You'll draw a new Aggressor. Stronger. One that can handle the witches when Ramus returns.

Kevin: What if I turn the Aggressor onto you?

Arnon: I'd kill you before you could try. And then I'd kill the rest of the people in your life who still care about you. I may not have much power, but I have enough to do that. Now, draw. (Arnon walks away. Kevin starts to draw a woman on the page that looks like Phoebe.)

(Cut to the slumlord's building. Phoebe walks in. The tenants are leaving their apartments. Phoebe walks up to a man in a suit.)

Phoebe: Uh, Edward Miller?

Edward: Yeah.

Phoebe: Phoebe Halliwell, Bay Mirror. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.

Edward: No, I don't think so. (Edward walks off. Phoebe follows.)

Phoebe: Okay, so how does it feel to be the most hated man in the city?

Edward: Excuse me?

Phoebe: Well, at least not until tomorrow (he stops walking) when the morning edition comes out and everyone reads that your forcing innocent families out on the streets.

Edward: You print that, lady, and I'll sue you for liable.

Phoebe: Ooh, now I'm a little rusty on my law but how could it be liable when actually it's the truth?

Edward: Get outta my way. (He pushes her aside and walks off.)

Phoebe: Hey! (She follows him.) Look, you can run but you can not hide, Mister! My newspaper's gonna do a huge expose on this. You won't get away with it!

Edward: I already have. (Suddenly, Phoebe changes into a superhero, dressed in a tight red and black top and tight red and black shorts, black knee-high boots and a black mask.)

(Cut to Kevin. He has drawn Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and Porter as superheroes)

(Cut to a comic book store. Piper, Paige, and Porter walk outside.)

Porter: I could feel the nerdiness dripping onto my coolness.

Piper: Well, I hope you have a raincoat because we have a few more stores to check out. Maybe we'll still find something.

Paige: Yeah, more lonely superheroes who have to hide their true identities. This does not bode well for my love life.

Piper: Paige, let me ask you a question. Are you gonna marry Dave?

Paige: No, I just met him.

Piper: Well, then relax and worry about it when you've gotta worry about it. (Suddenly, Piper, Paige, and Porter change into superheroes. Piper is wearing silver and black long pants with a silver and black top and black mask. Paige is wearing a short black skirt with a pink and black top, black knee-high boots and a black mask. Porter is wearing black and blue striped tights under blue shorts and a blue and black top with black shoulder pads and a black mask. They jump onto the roof top in a blink of an eye.) Oo-kay, what just happened here?

Paige: I was kind of wondering the same thing.

Porter: I don't know, but I am loving it.

Woman's Voice: Help! Somebody help me!

(Cut to a parking lot. A man is pulling a woman out of the car by her hair. He throws her to the ground. Piper, Paige, and Porter arrive. The man points a gun at the woman.)

Piper: Hey! (The man shoots at Piper and Piper catches the bullet.) Not exactly what I had in mind but it'll do. (The man starts to run away but Porter runs in front of him in a blink of an eye.)

Porter: Where do you think your going? (Piper grabs the man from behind and throws him into a dumpster. Paige goes up to the woman.)

Paige: Are you alright?

Woman: Who are you people? Where did you come from? (Piper and Paige help her up.)

Piper: Well, that's a mighty good question, lady.

(Cut to a building roof top. Superhero Phoebe is holding Edward by his ankles over the edge. Edward is panicking.)

Edward: They don't have to move. They can stay for a year. Ten years!

Phoebe: What about the cockroaches? Are you gonna do something about the cockroaches?

Edward: First thing tomorrow. Just please don't drop me. Please. (Cole appears.)

Cole: Uh, Phoebe?

Phoebe: Cole! (She lets go of one ankle.) What are you doing here?

Cole: Well, I got a call from one of the tenants saying that, uh, Wonder Woman was terrorizing the landlord. (He looks over the edge.) What the hell are you doing?

Phoebe: Well, I'm teaching my buddy here how important it is to be a better person. (To Edward) Are you a better person yet?

Edward: I'm slipping!

Phoebe: Oh, no, you're not slipping. (She nearly drops him.) That's slipping. (Cole laughs.)

Cole: Honey...

Phoebe: Don't call me honey anymore.

Cole: I don't know what's going on here but this is not you. Literally.

Phoebe: Are you kidding? This is better than me. This is new and improved me. Now not only can I help my readers, but I can help the entire city.

Cole: Careful, he's got ears.

Phoebe: Oh, please, relax. The only thing he can hear right now is the blood rushing to his brain. (She pulls him up and he falls to the ground.) One more slip up, Edward, and we'll end up right back up here. (Edward runs away.)

Cole: Phoebe, are you outta your mind? What if somebody sees you?

Phoebe: That's why we wear masks.

Cole: We?

Phoebe: Yeah, superheroes. Okay, Cole, I gotta go 'cause I have a lot of loyal readers that need my help, okay.

Cole: Okay. (Phoebe zips across from building to building.)

Phoebe: Whoo!

(Cut to downstairs. Edward walks up to a security guard.)

Edward: I want you to find out everything you can about Cole Turner's wife.

Security Guard: His wife? Why?

Edward: Just do it.

To be continued…


	13. 5x04: Witches In Tights Pt 3

(Cut to the manor. Parlor. Piper, Paige, and Porter zip in.)

Paige: Ah, head rush.

Porter: (To Paige.) Let's do it again.

Piper: No, what if somebody sees us?

Paige: Sees us? We're blurs. Besides, who cares?

(Phoebe zips in.)

Phoebe: Okay, give me a sec while my organs catch up.

Paige: Nice outfit!

Phoebe: You too, sis!

Porter: I don't really like mine. I mean what's with the shoulder pads?

Piper: Yeah, okay. But where did we get them?

Phoebe: I don't know and I don't care. All I know is I'm on a roll. I have helped so many readers... (She takes off her mask) today...

Piper: What?

Phoebe: I don't know but suddenly I don't feel so good about this. It's like the masks are clouding our judgment making us feel like we're invincible. (Piper takes off her mask.) See?

Piper: Yeah, unfortunately. (Paige takes her mask and frowns.)

Paige: I don't like it. I'm putting it back on. (She starts to put it back on, but Phoebe stops her.)

Phoebe: No, Paige, we need to think clearly to do this. Off with the mask, Porter.

Porter: Do I have to?

Piper: Yes!

Porter: Fine. (Porter takes his mask off. Suddenly the Aggressor zips in and knocks Phoebe across the room. Piper rushes over to her.)

Piper: Phoebe! (The Aggressor tries to hit Paige but she dodges really quickly. He ends up putting his fist through the wall. Paige punches him in the face. Piper kicks him and he lands in the foyer. He gets back up and heads for Piper. Phoebe gets up and punches him several times in the stomach. As he writhes in pain, Porter kicks him from behind and sends him flying into the conservatory. He lands on a table and gets a piece of wood stuck through his chest. The girls and Porter run in.)

Aggressor: Thank you.

(The Aggressor changes into Kevin.)

Porter: Kevin?

Piper: Kevin? Who is Kevin?

Porter: He's the kid I told you about. You know, the one I saved from the beating?

Piper: So he's the innocent? (Porter nods.) Leo! (Leo orbs in.)

Leo: Yes?

Piper: Heal this kid, Kevin.

Leo: What happened?

Phoebe: He attacked us and then he fought back and he wound up with this wood in his chest. (Leo starts but hesitates.)

Paige: What are you waiting for?

Leo: How do we know if we heal him he's not gonna try kill you guys again?

Porter: Leo, I know for a fact he's the innocent in all of this.

Phoebe: Plus, killers don't usually thank you for killing them.

Leo: He thanked you?

Paige: Just hurry up. (Leo heals Kevin. Kevin wakes up.)

Kevin: What happened?

Piper: Before or after your alter ego tried to kill us.

Leo: Come on. (Leo helps Kevin up.)

Piper: Kevin, you have some explaining to do. Are you responsible for these outfits? (Kevin nods.)

Kevin: I was hoping to be able to stop the Aggressor.

Paige: The Aggressor? Don't you mean you?

Kevin: Yeah.

Phoebe: We were gonna kill you, we almost did.

Leo: Is that what you wanted?

Kevin: I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to hurt anyone else. And then after our first battle, I thought maybe if I drew you with more powers...

Piper: Hang on a second, Mister, what do you mean you drew us?

Kevin: I've always been able to imagine things and then make them come to life through my drawings. Like you guys, the protectors. I never told anybody about what I could do. I knew it would freak people out. Hey, it freaked me out at first.

Leo: Thought projection, a very rare power, means he's a witch too.

Phoebe: Why'd you make yourself a superhero?

Kevin: Because I got tired getting beaten up all the time or having to be saved by someone else. (Kevin looks at Porter.)

Porter: Sorry.

Kevin: And then Arnon came along and offered to help me focus my power if I helped him.

Paige: Arnon, who's that?

Kevin: Somebody I wished I never met. He used me to get to Ramus. Said that he was a bad guy, that we had to stop him. But all Arnon wanted were his powers. (The Elders call Leo.)

Leo: The Elders, they want me to bring Ramus back down.

Piper: No, you can't. Not until we figure out a way to stop Arnon.

Leo: Well, I don't have a choice, the equinox is starting.

Piper: He'll kill Ramus.

Paige: He can't, not without the Aggressor.

Piper: We can't know that for sure. You have to wait until we find him.

Phoebe: Yeah, but how?

Kevin: I know how. Arnon doesn't know the Aggressor failed yet. So all I have to do is follow him back to his hideout.

Paige: No, that is too dangerous.

Kevin: I won't be in danger, not with you guys there. With all your super powers and your super hearing, you'll easily be able to over power him, trust me. After all, I drew you, didn't I.

Paige: Okay, but you have to do exactly what we say.

Kevin: Promise.

(Cut to the Outside or Arnon's hideout. Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Porter and Kevin peek around the corner.)

Paige: Is this it?

Kevin: Yeah, through that door.

Piper: Do you hear anything inside?

Paige: Rats, dripping water, cockroaches, may as well be my old apartment. No Arnon though.

(Cut to the manor. Conservatory. Leo orbs in with Ramus.)

Ramus: I see you've been practicing a bit more, Leo.

Leo: Actually, I think we'd be safer upstairs.

Ramus: No, here is fine.

Leo: With all the doors, if anybody attacks...

Ramus: Anybody who attacks doesn't need doors, Leo. Relax. (Ramus sits down.) There's nothing either of us can do to change what's meant to be.

Leo: What is that supposed to mean? What aren't you telling me?

Ramus: Actually, quite a bit. (He chuckles.) Look, Leo, you know as well as I do that there is a reason for everything which means that there is a reason for here, for now.

Leo: Well, how the hell am I supposed to protect you if I don't know what the hell is going on? Sorry.

Ramus: No, no, I like that. You could stand to be a little tougher sometimes. Just because you're an angel doesn't mean you can't kick some ass now and again. (Leo sits down.) Leo, my fate is sealed, win or lose, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. That means that there is nothing more either of us can do to change that. But there is however perhaps something I can do for you.

Leo: What do you mean?

Ramus: I am an Elder and I can foresee the future enough of it anyway to give you a glimpse. If you're interested.

Leo: Isn't that against the rules?

Ramus: I'm retiring, what do I care? You can ask me one question and one question only. (Leo thinks for a moment.)

Leo: Will Piper and I ever have that special little baby that Piper saw in the future?

Ramus: Yes, your child will be very healthy and very, very special.

(Cut to outside Arnon's hideout.)

Phoebe: Okay, listen, you're gonna go in there and summon him, okay, but when he comes call for us and we'll get you out of there in a flash.

Paige: The slightest peep, I'll hear it.

Kevin: Okay.

Piper: You don't have to do this, you know.

Kevin: No, I want to. (Kevin heads for the door. An aeroplane flies above and Paige covers her ears.)

Porter: Are you okay?

Paige: Uh. (Kevin walks inside the building. Edward is watching with a video camera near by from inside his car.)

(Cut to inside the building.)

Kevin: Arnon? Arnon? Arnon, it's me, K... (Arnon comes up behind Kevin and puts his hand on his shoulder.)

Arnon: You betrayed me. (He holds up the drawing of superhero Piper, Phoebe and Paige.) Now that I know you can draw powers for others, you can draw some for me.

(Cut to outside.)

Paige: Stupid planes, all I hear is ringing in my ears.

Piper: Okay, forget it, we've gotta get him out of there. (They zip inside and Edward catches it with the video camera.)

(Cut to inside the building. Kevin is unconscious on the floor.)

Porter: Kevin, wake up. (Paige picks up a drawing of another superhero.)

Paige: What is this?

Phoebe: Another Aggressor? (The Aggressor zips in.)

Aggressor: That's right. (He rips the drawing of the superhero Piper, Phoebe, Paige, and Porter in half and they all return to their normal clothes.)

Piper: Uh-oh. (The Aggressor throws them through a wooden wall.)

Piper: Ouch.

Paige: Everybody still alive?

Piper: I'm not sure yet.

Phoebe: Oh, no complaining. You're the one that didn't want to get pampered, remember?

Piper: I take it back, I take it back. (They get up.)

Porter: At least if you had stayed pampered you wouldn't have been thrown through a wall. (Kevin walks out.)

Kevin: Oh, god, oh, god, I'm so sorry about this.

Porter: It's okay, it's not your fault.

Kevin: I didn't have a choice. Arnon threatened to kill me if I didn't.

Phoebe: It doesn't matter, all that matters is that you're fine.

Kevin: For now until he needs me to draw even more powers.

Paige: He won't need anymore powers if he gets to Ramus before we do.

Phoebe: Okay, so how do we stop him? We're not superheroes anymore.

Kevin: I can make you superheroes again.

Piper: No, that'll take too long; he'll have Ramus by then.

Paige: So how do we stop him?

Piper: As super witches.

Kevin: But you couldn't stop my superhero as witches, how are you gonna stop Arnon?

Piper: Okay, so we'll rip up his drawing and turn back into the wussy demon that he is.

Kevin: You can't. He took the drawing with him.

(Cut to the manor. Leo and Ramus are there. Leo is pacing.)

Ramus: Will you just relax? You're making me nervous.

Leo: Okay, well, something isn't right, I can sense it.

Ramus: Leo, I've told you, you've already done your job. Now it's time to let your charges do theirs.

Leo: Well, I just don't understand what's taking so long. They should be home by now.

Ramus: They will be. They're just gonna be too late.

Leo: You know what? I-I'm getting you outta here.

Ramus: Mm. Oh, I'm afraid this is gonna hurt. (The Aggressor barges through the front door. He zips in front of Leo and punches him, sending him across the dining room table.)

Aggressor: (to Ramus) Looks like getting your powers is gonna be easier than I thought.

Ramus: Enjoy it while it lasts. (White lights flow out of Ramus and into the Aggressor's body. Ramus vanishes. The Charmed Ones and Kevin orb in.)

Aggressor: You're too late, Ramus is dead.

Piper: Leo. (She goes over to him.)

Porter: Paige, now.

Paige: Boot! (The Aggressor's boot orbs into Paige's hand. The Aggressor falls to the floor.)

Kevin: Left! I meant left boot!

Paige: Oh, for goodness sakes. Left boot! (The other boot orbs into Paige's hand and she pulls the drawing out of it. She tears it up and The Aggressor turns back into Arnon. He stands up.)

Phoebe: Yeah, don't you just hate it when that happens?

Paige: Fortunately, since you have Ramus's powers, you should be able to foresee what's gonna happen next. (Piper walks over to Arnon.)

Piper: It's gonna hurt isn't it? (Porter ices him, Piper blows him up, and Ramus's powers leave him.)

Paige: What the hell is that? (The powers enter Kevin's body.)

Kevin: What, what just happened?

Phoebe: Looks like Ramus was able to pass his powers onto the new Elder after all.

Paige: An Elder? He's only thirteen.

Leo: Elders are like kings. They can be any age.

Kevin: I-I don't understand. What does this mean?

Piper: Well, for one thing, it means that nobody's gonna be pushing you around anymore.

Porter: And no one will have to save anymore you either.

(Cut to Outside Cole's office. Cole locks the door and starts walking down the hallway. Edward comes around the corner holding a videotape.)

Edward: You Turner?

Cole: Yeah, who are you?

Edward: Edward Miller, but you can call me Ed.

Cole: I've got nothing to say to you. (Cole walks off and Edward follows.)

Edward: Yeah, well, I got something to say to you. As well as the little missus. (Cole stops.) You know, there's just a very certain special way that married people talk to each other. Very distinctive to the ear. Even when you're hanging upside down. (Cole walks into an elevator.)

Cole: I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.

Edward: Really? Well, uh, maybe this will jog your memory. (He holds up the videotape.) Maybe we should go talk somewhere a little more private, huh?

(Cut to the club from before. Paige and Dave are walking through the crowd. They approach Piper and Leo who are sitting on a couch, kissing.)

Paige: Ooh, looks like someone else needs to get a room.

Piper: Cute, very cute.

Leo: How's it going, Dave. (Dave shakes his hand.)

Dave: Never better, mate, never better.

Piper: Oh, really? How about you guys go get us girls some drinks.

Dave: Sparkling or still?

Paige: Sparkling of course. (Leo stands up.) See I see that you decided to suck it up and just come here, since P3 is closed now.

Piper: Yeah, I'm beginning to realize that I can still go to P3's ex-competitors, after all P3 is closed and the new restaurant/club will be open soon and be number one again.(The girls giggle.) But being number one doesn't really matter and neither does fighting demons.

Paige: What, you don't like being a superhero?

Piper: Oh, no, are you kidding, it was awesome. I mean, being a witch is still awesome. Being a superhero was very empowering.

Paige: Good for you.

Piper: Yeah. And apparently good for you. Since you worked through your issues with Dave I gather.

Paige: Yes, I did thank god. I was just about to join a convent.

Piper: Mm-hm. Must have been the pink leather, broke you down.

Paige: Don't laugh, but I think it might've been. Something about leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. I guess that'll free any girl up.

Piper: Yeah, and let your guard down.

Paige: Yeah, I'm gonna take you advice and just, you know, relax. If he's mister right I'll tell him I fly around on broomsticks. (Phoebe walks up to them.)

Phoebe: He may find out by himself.

Paige: What?

Phoebe: Cole just called. He said the idiot slumlord wants to meet Cole and me now.

Piper: Why?

Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. Something about having a tape of Cole's superhero ex-wife in action.

Piper: Oh, no.

(Cut to Cole's apartment. Cole and Edward are there watching the videotape.)

Cole: What do you want?

Edward: Well, your wife off my back for starters. Then maybe fifty grand a month.

Cole: Fifty grand?

Edward: Yeah. And if they don't have it, they can certainly get it. Just put on those cute little outfits.

Cole: They don't have them anymore.

Edward: Well, they'd better find them. I wouldn't try anything if I were you, this is just a copy.

Cole: I can find the original.

Edward: Oh, yeah? How?

Cole: Well, I have certain powers too. But I'm trying very hard not to use them, very hard. I don't like what they do to me.

Edward: Yeah, okay, whatever, pal. Guess I'll just sell this to the highest bidder. (He heads for the door.)

Cole: I can't let you do that.

Edward: Try and stop me. (Cole uses his power and vanquishes Edward. Phoebe walks in.)

Phoebe: Is he here?

Cole: Who?

Phoebe: Miller. Edward Miller, you said he was coming.

Cole: Oh, yeah, um, I took care of it.

Phoebe: What do you mean? (She starts backing away.) What does that mean?

Cole: Phoebe, he was gonna expose you. (She gets in the elevator.) What was I supposed to do? Phoebe, wait. (The elevator doors close.)

End of episode.


	14. Author's Notes 2

Author's Notes

I decided to change the time line of Charmed a bit, so instead of Prue, Piper, and Phoebe getting their powers in 1998, they got them in 2003, meaning that my season 5 takes place in 2008. In order to do this, I had to change the ages of the Charmed Ones, so Prue would be 31, Piper is 28, Phoebe is 26, and Paige is 24, and my creation, Porter is 16.

I decided that Piper's children will fight into the family name tradition (P names.) And yes, Piper will be getting pregnant sooner than you may think. Also, Chris may or may not be introduced next season (Season 6.)

When you review, I would like you to answer a few questions for me:

What do you think of Porter?

When you read my fanfiction, what actor do think could play Porter or what do you imagine him looking like?

Do you have any suggestions for any future "episodes" storylines or any suggestions of episodes (Season 6+) that you think I should re-write?

And there maybe some crossover episodes next season…


	15. 5x05: Return To The City Of Sin Pt 1

(Scene: Lucas' old place. Everything is torn and broken and a mess is made of the place. A man steps in and taps the stick on the ground. The bottomless pit opens and a glowing ball flies out of the pit. It turns into the Sin Box and floats to the man. He opens it, waves his hand over it and the Sin Balls brightly glow. He laughs sinisterly.)

Man: The Charmed Ones will never know what him them.

(Cut to a gated community. Paige pulls in front of a house in her VW Beetle. She walks up to the door and knocks. Porter answers.)

Porter: Hey, Paige.

Paige: Hey, Porter. Is she here? (Porter nods. Paige steps in.) Where is she?

Porter: In the living room. (Paige and Porter step into the living room where Porter's adoptive mother is sitting.) Mom, this is Paige Matthews. (Paige reaches out to shake her hand.)

Porter's Mom: Who is she?

Porter: She's…

Paige: I'm his sister.

Porter's Mom: Porter, you have a sister?

Porter: Yeah, I didn't know until about a month and a week ago.

Porter's Mom: And I am just finding out now? How are you two siblings?

Paige: My…our mother and father put us both up for adoption when we were young.

Porter's Mom: Cynthia was your mother too? (Porter nods yes to Paige.)

Paige: Yes. She was.

Porter's Mom: So what are you here for?

Paige: I came to ask you…um...if Porter could move out of here and in with me and our half-sisters, Piper and Phoebe.

Porter's Mom: Why would I let Porter move in with you if I don't even know you?

Paige: Because me and Porter are blood relatives.

Porter's Mom: He is not leaving me without legal representation from both sides.

Porter: But Mom…

Porter's Mom: But nothing…I'm not letting you move in with anybody who I don't know is dependable.

Porter: Mom, Paige has a degree in social work so she is very dependable and responsible.

Porter's Mom: No.

Porter: Please, mommy? (Porter makes a puppy dog pout.)

Porter's Mom: Um…okay…Porter, I am willing to reason with you and Ms. Matthews. You can spend a week with her and these Piper and Phoebe people, and if you come back okay, I will turn custody over to Ms. Matthews, but once again with legal representation.

Porter: Okay. One week starting today?

Porter's Mom: Yes. So see you next Tuesday.

(Time lapse. Porter and Paige are in the car.)

Porter: You have no idea how easy that was. Normally my mom is a stick in the mud, but we got off easy because I kinda…used magic. (Porter ducks his head and puts his hands over his head.)

Paige: Well, I say practice makes perfect. What spell did you use?

Porter: The spell to promote compromise. Wait, you're not mad?

Paige: No, that's Piper's territory. (They drive by a store that is surrounded by cops and a SWAT team. Paige and Porter get out and join the crowd. Darryl is there.) Darryl! (Darryl comes over to them.) Darryl, what's going on?

Darryl: A store manager is holding hostages in there. (Pointing to Porter.) Who is that?

Porter: Porter, her brother and another M-A-G-I-C user. Piper warned me that you don't like the 'M word'.

Paige: Why is the manager holding hostages?

Darryl: Apparently the manager has some demands that he wants met.

Paige: Well, what does he want?

Darryl: He wants 100,000 in crisp hundred dollar bills and an imported Italian Ferrari.

Paige: Huh. (Porter grabs the sides of his head, in pain.) What's wrong, Porter?

Porter: Don't you feel that?

Paige: Feel what?

Porter: A strong vibration of demonic activity.

Paige: What do you mean? There's no demon around here?

Porter: Is there? Maybe it's a possessor demon or something. (There's a sudden loud bang.)

Darryl: Did he just shoot his gun? (Paige nods.) I think he shot his gun.

Porter: So what you going to do?

Darryl: I guess we are going to have to fire. Men! Get in your positions and aim.

Porter: No, Darryl, I have an idea. Paige, can you orb us into like a bathroom inside or something?

Paige: Yeah, probably.

Darryl: Oh, no. I'm not going to let you use magic on this one. Besides, Prue faced a problem like this and got hurt. (He turns to Paige and Porter and finds they are gone.) Damn it! They never listen to me.

(Cut to a bathroom. Paige and Porter orb in.)

Paige: So what's the plan?

Porter: Well, if this is a human crisis, you could probably talk him down. I mean you were a social worker and all.

Paige: That's dangerous though.

Porter: But if he shoots, you orb the gun away.

Paige: You know, as crazy as it sounds, it just might work. (They cautiously exit the bathroom and see a man holding a woman in one hand and a revolver in the other.)

Man: Can you get me it, you bitch?

Woman: No! I'm sorry! (He fires the gun into the ceiling and throws the woman on the floor.)

Man: You know, there's nothing stopping me from killing you. (He aims the gun at the woman and pulls the trigger.)

Paige: Bullet! (The bullet orbs into Paige's hand. The man turns around and Paige and Porter hide.) Damn, that was close.

Man: Who's there? I said who's there? I said who's there? If you don't come out, I will kill this woman. (Porter and Paige come out of hiding.) Get down on the ground.

Paige: Please. Calm down, we only want to talk to you.

Man: Did they send you?

Paige: No. We just need to talk.

Man: I am through with talking. Talking won't get me my money or my car, god damnit!

Paige: Just put the gun down and nobody will get…(He shoots.) Bullet! (Paige orbs the bullet and accidently throws back at the man. He begins to bleed. Porter looks at Paige in surprise.)

Porter: Paige, you just killed a human. (Paige is stunned.)

Paige: I thought you said he was a demon.

Porter: I said possessed by a demon.

Paige: But if he was, the demon would have separated after we killed the man. (The man's body glows green and a small green ball appears on his chest. Porter goes over to his body and reaches for the ball. Paige slaps his hand.) Porter, if that came out of his body, it will go into yours if you touch it.

Porter: Right. (He ices it.) Is it okay now? (Porter picks it up. Paige grabs his hand and they orb out and reappear outside of the store.)

Paige: Darryl!

Darryl: What?

Porter: He killed himself.

(Cut to the Underworld. The man from the beginning is at a large crystal ball. An image of Paige and Porter appears.)

Man: They've taken the bait, perfectly.

(Cut to the Manor. Piper is in the kitchen making some food. Paige and Porter walk in.)

Piper: Hey, you two.

Paige: Hi. Guess who is ours for the week?

Porter: Me! (Porter eyes Piper's food.) Oh, shrimp! (He grabs some and eats it.)

Piper: Hey! Those where for dinner.

Porter: But you have tons, one piece isn't going to hurt.

Piper: I am trying to make the perfect shrimp cocktail, okay? (Paige goes over to the freezer and opens it. She pulls the block of ice with the green ball out of her purse and puts it in the freezer.) Whoa. What's that?

Paige: We don't know. It came out of an innocent's lifeless body.

Piper: Well, let me see it. (Paige takes it out and hands it to Piper.) Oh no. Leo! (Leo orbs in.)

Leo: What, honey?

Piper: Look what Paige and Porter found. (She shows Leo the ice block.)

Leo: But I thought Prue got rid of them.

Porter: Got rid of what?

Piper: She did, but where did they come from?

Porter: They what?

Leo: The Sin Balls.

Porter: What are the Sin Balls?

Leo: They are balls that contain the powers of the seven deadly sins: Pride, lust, sloth, greed, envy, gluttony, and anger.

Piper: Prue, Phoebe, Leo, and I were infected by them once. They enter the body through touch.

Porter: So if a person can be infected, that means the man must've been infected. But with which sin?

Paige: Well, he wanted what he couldn't have, that sounds like envy.

Piper: What I want to know if how did they come back? We threw them into the bottomless pit.

Leo: I can go check with the Elders.

Piper: Go. (Leo orbs out.)

(Cut to the Bay Mirror. Phoebe walks into the office and sees a crowd of people. She joins the crowd.)

Phoebe: Kate, what's going on?

Kate: The new owner of the paper is here.

Phoebe: Elise's replacement?

Kate: Yeah.

Phoebe: What's his name?

Kate: Mr. Dean. (The crowd breaks up and Phoebe sees Mr. Dean. He motions for her to come to him. She walks to him cautiously.)

Phoebe: I'm sorry, y-y-you're Mr. Dean?

Jason: Jason, please.

Phoebe: Wow, that-that's some weird stuff because you're really... young, young.

Jason: Yeah.

Phoebe: Yeah. (Phoebe nervously fans her face with a copy of the newspaper.)

Jason: You know it's strange. I always pictured a newspaper bullpen as being a little more, I don't know, bustling.

Phoebe: Bus-bus-bustle. (Everyone quickly gets back to work.)

Jason: Oh, hey, no. (Jason laughs.) I grew up reading comic books and The Daily Planet was bustling.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, in all fairness, Superman can move faster than a speeding bullet, so he's got a little leg up on the bustling, you know?

Jason: A woman who knows her superheroes. I'm impressed.

Phoebe: I-I'm Phoebe Halliwell. (She shakes his hand.)

Jason: I know. I've been doing a lot of homework, a lot of reading. Circulation is down and... (He looks down and Phoebe is still shaking his hand.)

Phoebe: Oh, sorry.

Jason: I plan to bring it up and from what I've seen that's gonna start with you.

Phoebe: Wow, that's really sweet. Um…I could, you know, show you around.

Jason: That'd be great.

(Cut to the attic. Paige and Porter are standing by the Book of Shadows.)

Porter: It says here that demonic infectors keep Crystal Boxes that contain balls of each of the Seven Deadly Sins. So if that man had one, does that mean that we should expect more?

Paige: Most likely. Read on.

Porter: These Demons, who were once human and consumed by Sin in Life, use Sin balls to corrupt paragons of Good. Infectors target a victim's predisposition to Sin and magnify it with a Sin ball, leading to the victim's self-destruction within hours. So if it takes hours for self-destruction, then the manager must've been infected for a while.

Paige: But why? It says paragons of Good are the ones infected. Unless he was very reasonable at customer complaints, I don't think he was a paragon of Good. (Leo orbs in, in front of them.)

Leo: The Elders have given me some warning about the Sin Balls.

Paige: Well, what is it?

Leo: They said…Wait, where's Piper?

Porter: I think she's downstairs. (Piper walks in clutching her stomach.)

Piper: No, she's right here.

Leo: Oh, honey, are you okay?

Piper: Just a little sour stomach. So what did the Elders tell you?

Leo: Piper, you remember Lucas? (To Paige and Porter.) Lucas was the former demon infector.

Piper: Yeah, so?

Leo: Well, the Elders sensed a powerful wave of demonic energy over Lucas' old hideout.

Piper: Meaning?

Leo: Meaning that somehow another demon has recovered them balls from the pit and amplified their powers.

Paige: So we have to look out for people who are living embodiments of lust, pride, greed, sloth, gluttony, and anger?

Leo: Basically, yes.

Porter: Should we call Pheebs and warn her?

Piper: I guess so. (Porter leaves the attic.)

(Cut to the living room. Porter grabs the phone and walks into the conservatory. He dials the phone and it rings. Phoebe answers.)

Phoebe: Phoebe Halliwell's office. Phoebe speaking, how may I help you?

Porter: Phoebe's brother speaking, calling to warn her of magical problems.

Phoebe: Hi Porter. What's wrong?

Porter: Apparently the seven deadly sins are back.

Phoebe: The…what…wait…the sins? I thought Prue destroyed them.

Porter: Piper and Leo said that too. I guess some new demon recovered them and made them stronger. So be on the lookout for anyone of them but envy.

Phoebe: Why not envy?

(Cut to Phoebe's office.)

Porter: Paige and I froze the envy ball. (A man appears at Phoebe's door with a heart shaped box. She signals for him to wait.)

Phoebe: Okay. I will be on the lookout. I've got to go Porter.

Porter: Okay, Pheebs. Bye.

Phoebe: Okay sir, you can come in.

Man: I've got a box of chocolates for a Miss Halliwell.

Phoebe: Chocolates? Who are they from?

Man: They are from…

Phoebe: Hang on, did Cole Turner send them? (The man looks at a clipboard.)

Man: No, they are from a secret admirer.

Phoebe: Okay. Leave them on my desk, please. (He puts the box down and leaves Phoebe's office.)

(Cut to the hallway outside the offices. The man opens the door and walks out. He snaps his finger and turns back into the demon. He walks down the hall and flames out.)

(Cut to Phoebe's office. The box on Phoebe's desk fades into the Sin box and then back into the chocolate box.)

To be continued…


	16. 5x05: Return To The City Of Sin Pt 2

(Scene: The foyer of the Manor. Phoebe opens the door and puts her keys and the chocolate box down on the foyer table.)

Phoebe: Piper! Paige? Porter? (Piper, Paige, Porter and Leo all runs down the stairs. When she reaches the bottom, Piper puts her hands on her stomach and makes a face.) Oh, honey. What's wrong?

Piper: Oh it's nothing.

Phoebe: You sure?

Piper: Yeah.

Paige: So what's the commotion about?

Phoebe: I got this box of chocolates, today at work, from a secret admirer…

Paige: Last time I checked that was a good thing.

Phoebe: Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I asked the man who delivered them if they were from Cole. You know, because of the whole pregnancy-chocolate thing.

Piper: Oh yeah.

Phoebe: And he said no, so tah-dah! We have chocolates! (Phoebe giggles.)

Piper: Okay, so demons aside, how was work?

Phoebe: Fine… It's just been… (The Charmed Ones and Leo walk out of the room and Phoebe keeps talking. As they walk out, the demon flames in. He picks up the box and it transforms into the Sin Box again. He levitates the various balls and throws them into various objects in the house. The Lust ball into the stair handle, the Greed ball into a lamp, the Gluttony ball into the table, the Pride ball into the flower vase, the Sloth ball into a chair, the Anger ball into a carpet. He then waves his hand over the flower vase and it explodes and then he flames out.)

Piper: (From the kitchen) What the hell was that?! (Piper runs into the foyer. Phoebe, Paige, and Porter follow) Oh my god, what happened?

Porter: Spontaneous molecular combustion? (Piper looks at Porter.)

Piper: You mean like this? (A window explodes.)

Porter: Yeah, I guess. (Piper rolls her eyes.)

Paige: Piper, should I orb the glass into the trash?

Piper: Ugh. No, I'll go get the broom. (Piper leaves but then she walks back in.) These flowers should be put in some water. (Piper bends down and reaches through the glass to get the flowers. She picks them up and walks out.)

(Cut to the kitchen. Piper is putting the flowers in a cup full of water. The flowers glow purple as she drops them in the cup and then Piper glows purple.) Hm… That was very strange. (She walks out to the conservatory, where Phoebe, Paige, and Porter are now sitting.) Where's Leo?

Porter: He went to the Elders.

Piper: Why?

Phoebe: We think demons are infecting our furniture, that's why.

Piper: What do you mean?

Porter: He sat down in that chair and it glowed blue and then Leo glowed blue.

Piper: It's called orbing, Porter.

Porter: Yeah, but he didn't disappear in a column of blue lights. He just kind of stayed there and then he orbed out.

Piper: Well, it's kind of weird that you say that because when I touched the flowers they glowed purple and then I think I glowed too.

Phoebe: Wait, blue and purple aren't those the colors of two of the sins?

Paige: I think so, I can go check in the book. (Paige starts walking up the stairs.)

Porter: Paige, just orb the book down here.

Paige: Okay, boo…

Piper: Finish that word and you will be sorry, missy.

Paige: Book. (The Book of Shadows appears in Paige's hands.)

Piper: Ugh!

Paige: I'm sorry. It just seems kind of urgent, you know?

Piper: Whatever.

Porter: Okay, so it's still on the Sin Ball page.

Paige: I guess you were right Pheebs. It says the color purple is associated with the Pride sin and blue is associated with Sloth.

Piper: Just great, Leo is going to be tired all day now. There won't be any time to do any work or anything at all.

Phoebe: Are you sure you didn't get gluttony?

Piper: As far as I'm concerned I didn't get a sin at all.

Porter: That sounded pretty prideful to me.

Piper: No, I didn't get a sin.

Leo: (From upstairs.) Piper!

Piper: What honey?

Paige: Wait, Leo? What's he doing upstairs?

Piper: He probably just orbed upstairs and took a nap. That happened last time.

Paige: Well, shouldn't we do something? You know, make a potion to flush the sins out?

Piper: No, I've got it under control.

Paige: Well, I'm not convinced. I'm going make a potion. (Paige stands up and walks into the kitchen. Piper takes her seat and begins to talk to Phoebe. The demon flames into the foyer.)

(Cut to the foyer. The demon telekinetically moves the lamp across the doorway. Cut back to the conservatory. Paige walks back in.)

Paige: Piper, do you know where the liquid dragon fang is?

Piper: It's not in the cabinet?

Paige: No, do you have any idea where it could be?

Piper: Wait, I think I brought it upstairs to make a potion to make my stomach feel better. I'll go get it.

Paige: No, I'll go. You just rest your little self. (Paige walks into the conservatory and trips over the lamp cord.) Ah! (The lamp glows yellow and Paige does too but it goes unnoticed.)

Porter: Paige, you okay?

Paige: Yeah, I guess. (Porter runs over to her and tries to help her up. As he grabs her hand, he leans forward and falls forward. He grabs the foyer table and it glows orange and so does Porter. Again it goes unnoticed. Piper and Phoebe walk in.)

Phoebe: Can you two even walk today? (Paige makes a face. Phoebe giggles.)

Piper: Do you need help with the potion, Paige?

Paige: You think I need help because of my coordination? No, I want to do it all by myself! (Paige gets off the floor and orbs upstairs.)

Porter: That was really weird. I'm hungry.

Piper: Really? I can make you the most perfect anything you have ever had. After all I was named one of the best chefs in all of the San Francisco. Oh, to hell with one of the best. To hell with San Francisco. I am the greatest chef in the world!

Porter: Yay! (Piper and Porter run out of the foyer. Phoebe leans against the stair handle with glows pink and Phoebe glows pink.)

Phoebe: Mhm, mhm, mhm…those sins, those sins…(Cole flames in on top of the carpet. It glows red and so does Cole, however neither Phoebe nor Cole notice.) Cole.

Cole: Phoebe.

Phoebe: What do you want?

Cole: I want to talk.

Phoebe: You come here everyday to talk and I never want to talk to you. And this time, the time is definitely not right.

Cole: Why? What's wrong?

Phoebe: If you must know the seven deadly sins are back. Well, actually the six deadly sins, Porter iced the Envy ball. But Piper and Leo have been infected with Pride and Sloth.

Cole: Is there anyway I can help?

Phoebe: You can help by leaving. (Cole puts his hand on Phoebe's throat and pins her against a wall.)

Cole: Are you trying to get rid of me, you little bitch?

Phoebe: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. What are you going to do about it? (Cole's grip tightens. Phoebe starts sweating.)

Cole: Are you ready to die, witch?

Phoebe: Take me. Take me, Cole. (His other hand moves to her face. He moves his hand over it. He lets go and turns to flame out. She grabs his arm and kisses him on the lips.)

Cole: What the hell was that?

Phoebe: An invitation. (They kiss again. This time, much fiercer. She wraps her legs around his waist and they run into the table. It falls over and so do they. Cole ends up on top of Phoebe, still tonguing her.)

Piper: (From the kitchen.) Phoebe, are you okay? (She and Porter walk into the foyer. Porter 's hands are filled with 5 bags of chips and a plate with seven sandwiches on it. They see Phoebe and Cole kissing.) Phoebe! What the…

Porter: I thought you said he was your ex-husband. (Cole and Phoebe finally breakup the kiss. Phoebe looks at Piper and Porter from her upside down position.)

Phoebe: I've been a very bad girl. (Cole flames out with Phoebe.)

**To be continued…**


	17. 5x05: Return To The City Of Sin Pt 3

(Scene: The Mausoleum. Phoebe and Cole flame in, still tonguing each other. Phoebe breaks up the kiss.)

Phoebe: Well Cole, what do you want to do to me?

Cole: Something is telling me to kill you…but another part of me is telling me to love you.

Phoebe: Well, then love me baby. (Phoebe begins to kiss Cole again.)

(Cut to the Manor. Leo is lying down on the couch watching a television show. Porter is sitting next to him eating out of a bowl that has a mixture of potato chips, popcorn, cheese puffs, tortilla chips, and salsa. Paige is running around the house and Piper is following her.)

Piper: Paige, are you sure you don't want help?

Paige: Piper! I'm fine. I want to do it all by myself. I don't need any help.

Leo: Where's Phoebe?

Piper: Why? You think you can get some free love out of her?

Leo: Ugh. (Leo belches.) No.

Piper: I don't really see why anybody would want Phoebe. I mean, I'm twice the lover she is.

Porter: Didn't she leave with Cole?

Piper: Oh my god. She left with Cole.

Paige: Yeah, and?

Piper: What do you mean? Cole could be torturing the poor woman.

Paige: Yeah, well its one less person to steal work from me.

Piper: Oh my god. Why didn't I see it before? Paige, you've been infected with Greed. Now you want to do all of the work all by yourself.

Porter: (Through a mouthful of food.) What sin did I get?

Piper: Obviously Gluttony.

Porter: What about you?

Piper: I wasn't hit. How many times do I have to tell you?

Porter: Well, as long as you are sinless, would you mind getting me more chips or something?

Piper: Ugh, fine. (Piper grabs Porter's bowl and walks into the kitchen.)

(Cut to the kitchen. Piper sets the bowl down on the counter. She grabs the bag of potato chips and pours some in the bowl.)

Piper: Ugh, how can Porter eat this? (Piper clutches her stomach.) Ow. Ugh. I can't wait to go to the doctor to find out what the hell this is. (She finishes with the bowl and leaves the kitchen. As she walks into the dining room, Paige is sent flying onto the dining table.) Paige? What the hell?

(Cut to the dining room. Paige is on the table.)

Paige: I was trying to fight the demon.

Piper: Demon? What demon? (Paige points into the foyer. A demon has Porter wrist in his hand. Porter tries to punch him in the face. The demon dodges the attack and throws Porter into the dining room with Paige and Piper.)

Porter: I take it he is a Power of Four demon. Where are my chips?

Piper: Does it matter? (The demon looks around in a brief confusion and enters the dining room.) Alright, let's end this once and for all. (Piper flicks her hands to blow him up. A few sparks him the demon's shoulder, but he brushes them off.) Oh no. That can't be good.

Paige: Piper, back off, I'll do it. (Paige orbs up and then orbs back in.)

Piper: Nice try. (The demon prepares an energy ball.)

Porter: Piper, try to freeze him. (Piper flicks her hands to freeze him. He fights through the freeze.)

Demon: Enough is enough. He throws an energy ball at the dining table, causing it to calapse with Paige and Porter on it. The demon shimmers out and shimmers onto the table and grabs Porter and then shimmers out.)

Paige: Oh my god. Did that demon just grab Porter? (Piper nods.) He have to save him! (A golden light erupts from Paige's chest and flies away through the front door.) Whoa. What just happened?

Piper: You lost your sin. It's funny. You didn't really act that greedy. If I had Greed, I would've acted much more greedy, but I didn't get a sin.

Paige: Piper, I think you did.

Piper: Oh, yeah? And what sin would that be?

Paige: Pride.

Piper: You're nuts, and I am right. I know for a fact that I didn't get infected. I'm too strong of a witch to have been… oh, god I did get infected, didn't I? (Paige nods.) Leo!

Leo: (From another room.) What?

Piper: Get your ass over here!

Leo: I'm too tired.

Piper: I said now damnit! (Leo orbs in front her. A blue ball erupts from his chest and flies out the front door.)

Paige: So wait, why did Leo and I lose our sins?

Leo: Well, I guess we committed selfless act. You know, you being concerned with saving Porter and me giving up the couch to be at Piper's side.

Paige: Oh, crap, Porter.

Piper: Yes, that's right. We have to save him. How could I forget? I can't believe it. I'm the smartest person in the world, and I forgot about Porter? I mean… (Paige covers Piper's mouth.)

Paige: Let's go. The sooner we get that out of her, the better. Let's go find Phoebe, shall we? (She grabs Piper's hand and orbs out of the house.)

(Cut to the Mausoleum. Clothes are thrown all around the Mausoleum. Phoebe is in her bra and panties and Cole is in boxers, they are still on the ground, still tonguing.)

Phoebe: Cole, you are a really great kisser. I don't know why I ever divorced you. (Cole puts his hands around her throat.)

Cole: You left me because you are a little bitch and you deserve to die. (Cole's grip tightens a little.)

Phoebe: Cole, you are hurting me. (Cole lets go of her throat.)

Cole: Sorry, Phoebe. (He gets on top of her and they begin kissing again. Paige and Piper orb in.)

Piper: Holy… hell.

Paige: Phoebe, what's going on? (Cole breaks up the kiss.)

Phoebe: Oh, you know, just making out with Cole.

Piper: Well, Phoebe, this looks like a lot more than just making out. You are practically naked.

Phoebe: Yeah, well, why are you here?

Paige: A demon kidnapped Porter and we need to go save him.

Phoebe: What? A demon kidnapped Porter? (Paige and Piper simultaneously nod yes.) We need to go then. Cole, I'm sorry. I've got to go. (Phoebe gets up and grabs her clothes and suddenly the pink ball erupts from her chest. She sees that she is naked and so is Cole.) Cole? What the hell? Why are we naked? Did we just?

Cole: Yes, we did.

Phoebe: Cole, I don't know who you think you are, but you are not my husband or my lover anymore. I can't believe you would violate me like this.

Cole: I didn't violate you, I just…

Phoebe: Save it, Cole. I don't want you to come to the house anymore, I don't want to talk to you anymore, I never want to see your face again. (The red ball leaves Cole's body.) Goodbye Cole. Goodbye and good riddance.

(Time lapse. Piper, Paige, and Phoebe are in the attic.)

Phoebe: So Porter is the only one with a sin?

Paige: No, Piper does too.

Phoebe: What sin did she get?

Paige: Well, although she denies it, she got Pride.

Piper: I did not get a sin, I am the strongest witch alive and I am much stronger than those damn sin balls.

Paige: We've been through this, you got Pride. Why can't she just be selfless and lose her damn sin?

Phoebe: Pride is the strongest of the sins. When Prue had it, she didn't lose it until we "destroyed" them the first time.

Paige: Oh. So what's the plan?

Phoebe: Well, we could scry for Porter or maybe the Gluttony sin.

Paige: Well, what the hell are we waiting for?

(Time lapse. Back in Lucas's old place. Porter is tied to the same stake Prue was tied to.)

Porter: Where are we? Who are you?

Demon: I am Micah, Lucas's brother.

Porter: Well, Micah, you made a big mistake kidnapping me. My sisters are going to kick your… (Piper, Phoebe, and Paige enter.)

Phoebe: Porter, watch your language.

Porter: Please tell me you guys have a plan to get me out of here.

Micah: It won't do them or you any good. (Micah makes an energy ball. He throws it at the sisters.)

Paige: Energy ball! (The energy ball orbs to Paige and she throws it back at Micah. Micah dodges it. Phoebe runs behind Porter and cuts the rope. Micah throws another energy ball. Porter ducks and Phoebe levitates to dodge it. Phoebe kicks Micah from her levitating position. Micah pulls her down. Piper flicks her hands to blow Micah up. He flicks the sparks off his shoulder. Paige orbs out and orbs back in behind Micah. He throws and energy ball at Phoebe.)

Paige: (Whispering.) Energy ball. (The energy ball orbs into Paige's hand and she chucks it at Micah. At the same time, Phoebe kicks Micah, Porter punches Micah, and Piper attempts to blow him up. Micah falls to the ground.) So, Phoebe, Piper, as people who have been in this situation before, what do we do next? Will he vanquish like a normal warlock?

Phoebe: Well, Lucas was thrown into the eternal vortex, but I don't think we can open it again.

Paige: Do we have a vanquishing spell?

Porter: I kind of thought of something.

Piper: Well, although it's probably nothing compared to something I would have written, but how's it go?

Porter: Okay, repeat after me. 'Demon who changes human strife…'

Piper, Phoebe, Paige: 'Demon who changes human strife…'

Porter: 'Our witches call now ends your life.'

Piper, Phoebe, Paige: 'Our witches call now ends your life.' (Micah stands up and the vortex opens up. Micah goes up in flames and falls backwards into the vortex. The balls of Greed, Sloth, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, and Envy fly into the vortex. The Pride ball flies out of Piper and goes into the vortex. The vortex closes.

Paige: Good spell, Porter.

Piper: Yeah, much better than Paige's first spell. 'Ludlow is vanquished.'

Paige: Hm. I see Pride isn't a far stretch for you then, Piper.

(Cut to the Manor. Piper is in a brand new room in the Manor.)

Piper: Alright! It's ready! Bring him in! (Paige and Phoebe guide Porter into the room. Porter has his eyes covered.)

Paige: Okay, Porter. Open your eyes. (Porter opens his eyes and sees the room.)

Porter: Oh my gosh, I love it! (He hugs his sisters.)

**End of episode…**


	18. 5x06: Bad Boy! Pt 1

(Scene: Outside of a house. Porter is there walking a dog and talking on his cell phone.)

Porter: Yes, Piper. I'm fine.

Piper: Are you sure? I can have Paige orb over there and pick you up.

Porter: No, Piper. It's okay. Besides, I have to finish walking their dog, Scooby, and then I have to lock up the house.

(Cut to the Manor's kitchen. Piper is talking on the phone to Porter. Paige is making a potion.)

Piper: Well, stay on the phone and then when you are done, I will tell Paige to go get you.

Porter: Piper, I'm fine. Geez, it's like moving away from one uber-protective mother and in with another.

Piper: Psh. Whatever, Porter.

Paige: Hey, tell Porter not to stay out too long, especially if an Anima demon attacks.

Piper: What did you say the Anima demon's thing was?

Paige: They have the power to control animal minds.

Piper: Oh yeah, that could be horrible, being hopped to death by bunnies.

Porter: Okay, Piper. I'm done here.

(Cut back to the house. Porter is stepping out the door and shutting the lights off. Porter locks the door and sits on the porch steps.)

Piper: Okay. I'll tell Paige to orb to you. (A loud explosion sound.) On second thought, I'll drive over there. Paige has some cleaning to do. See you in a few minutes. (Porter hangs up the phone. As Porter sits on the porch, a bush nearby rustles a little bit.)

Porter: Hm…that's strange. There's no wind. (Porter gets off the porch and walks over to the bush. The bush begins to shake harder than before. Porter hears a growling sound.) Scooby? (The growling intensifies. Porter backs away from the bush. Suddenly it splits open and a large dog-like creature jumps out at Porter. The creature's claws flail all over the place and scratch Porter is in many places. Piper pulls up in her car. The creature sees the headlights and runs away. Piper gets out of the car and sees Porter on the ground, covered with blood.)

Piper: Porter, what the hell happened?

Porter: I don't know.

**Opening Credits**

(Scene: The Manor, the next morning. Conservatory. Porter is looking out the window. Paige comes over to him.)

Paige: Hey, Porter. What happened last night?

Porter: I don't want to talk about it. (Phoebe and Piper come into the conservatory and sit down.)

Piper: Yeah, well, if it was what it looked like, you should spill.

Porter: And what did it look like?

Piper: Well, it looked like you being attacked by a demon or something.

Porter: Or something is more like it. I'm just lucky you came to pick me up and that Leo was able to heal me or else I probably would've bled to death.

Phoebe: Porter, isn't it almost time for school? (Porter looks at his wrist watch.)

Porter: Oh, crap. You are right. (Phoebe gets up.)

Phoebe: I'll take you. I have to drive by to get to the paper. Jason wants me there early for a little meeting or something. (Porter grabs his backpack and he and Phoebe leave.)

Piper: So, what are we going to do now?

Paige: I was thinking about going to search in the Book of Shadows to see if I can find what attacked Porter.

Piper: Hm. That sounds like a good idea. (Suddenly the glass of one of the windows shatters as if bullets are shooting through it. A swarm of bees begins to enter through the holes.)

Paige: Uh, Piper, is that a gigantic swarm of bees?

Piper: I think so.

Paige: Wasn't Leo allergic to them when he was alive?

Piper: I think so.

Paige: Are you going to freeze them?

Piper: Of course. (The bees fly towards Piper and Paige. Piper freezes them.) Okay, where the hell did they come from? (A demon with tribal markings on his face shimmers in. He unfreezes the bees and points at Paige and Piper. The bees fly at the girls.) Anima?

Paige: Anima. (Paige and Piper trip over a carpet and land on the floor. The bees are even closer now.) Bees! (The swarm of bees orb away from the girls and into the Anima demon. The Anima demon explodes.) That was a close one.

Piper: I'll say.

(Time lapse. The hallway in Porter's school. The bell rings, ending 4th period. Porter walks out of a classroom holding a paper.)

Porter: Oh yeah! An A! I got an A! (Porter walks down the hallway, still looking at the paper and accidently bumps into a familiar face, the bully, Troy.)

Troy: Move it, Madison! (Troy shoves Porter into a locker.)

Porter: Troy, don't mess with me again. Or do you know recall how I beat you last time?

Troy: That was just a… a… a…

Porter: A fluke?

Troy: Figures a smarty pants goody two shoes like you would know that.

Porter: Almost anybody over the age of 12 knows that word. I guess they don't teach that in caveman school.

Troy: Oh, listen to little Porter Madison talking like he's some kind of big tough hard ass.

Porter: What do you mean?

Troy: You act as if I should be afraid of you. I wouldn't be afraid of you if you were wearing a Halloween …

Porter: Mask?

Troy: Yeah.

Porter: Well, why don't you loan me yours?

Troy: There's that fake side of you again.

Porter: Troy, you should be afraid of me. (Porter pushes Troy out of the way.)

(Cut to the Bay Mirror. Phoebe is sitting at her desk.)

Phoebe: Dear Phoebe, my husband goes out at work and claims to be with the boys and he doesn't come back until very late at night. I am afraid he is having an affair. What should I do? Sincerely, Desperate Housewife in Denial. Hm…Dear Housewife… (Jason comes to her door and knocks on it.) Come in. (Phoebe looks up.) Oh, Jason! Hi, um, I mean, hi, what do you need?

Jason: Phoebe, I'd like to talk.

Phoebe: Okay, go. What do you want to talk about?

Jason: I'd like to talk about expanding your column. In today's market image and content are inseparable. We could publish a Pulitzer-Prize winning article but with our puny circulation, who's gonna notice?

Phoebe: No one, I guess.

Jason: Well, I think in order to get our circulation up, we need to play our cards the right way. According to polls, Ask Phoebe is the most popular column for the Bay Mirror.

Phoebe: Oh, wow. I never thought I was that good.

Jason: Look Phoebe. You are beautiful, smart, and funny. And you can write. With the right exposure, you could kick Dear Abby down into the bush leagues. You're a commodity.

Phoebe: Thank you, I think.

Jason: And we're going to work hard to capitalize on you. Get you some billboards, guest spots on local radio shows, maybe a spread or two in 415 magazine. But what I was wondering was what we could do differently with regard to content.

Phoebe: Content?

Jason: I was thinking we expand the Ask Phoebe column. Have you write a series of features road testing your own advice, or a series on the best singles spots in San Francisco based on your own undercover experience.

Phoebe: Hm…I like it.

Jason: And Phoebe, you and I can work this afternoon, put some ideas together...

Phoebe: Are you asking me out on a date?

Jason: Maybe. You got any plans later? You do now. I'm taking you out on assignment.

Phoebe: What? Where? When?

Jason: Six o'clock sharp I'll pick you up.

**To be continued…**


	19. 5x06: Bad Boy! Pt 2

(Scene: The Manor. Porter storms in, slams the door, and throws his backpack on the floor. Leo calls in from another room.)

Leo: Hello? Piper?

Porter: No. It's Porter. (Leo walks into the foyer.)

Leo: Porter? What are you doing here? It's only 11.

Porter: Yeah, I know.

Leo: Did you get sent home sick?

Porter: No.

Leo: Then why are you here so early?

Porter: Let's just say, school ends early if you know the right way to pick a lock.

Leo: You're skipping school? (Porter walks into the living room. Leo follows him.)

Porter: Where are Piper and Paige?

Leo: Out looking for the Anima demon king. You know if Piper finds out you are skipping school she's gonna…

Porter: Piper this, Piper that…you know, Piper isn't all "bad A" like you think. As a matter of fact, give me two boobs and two ovaries and I could be a much better annoying old hag than that whore I regret to call a sister.

Leo: Porter! You watch your tongue.

Porter: Who says things like that? Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm talking to a useless ghost of dead man's corpse. You know what, Leo? (Porter blow over his hand. Leo is flash frozen in orbs of ice. Porter punches the ice statue of Leo and it collapses into a pile bloody ice cubes.) That's much better. (Porter jumps over the couch, sits down, and puts his feet on the table.)

(Cut to Piper and Paige in a forest.)

Piper: Remind me why are here again?

Paige: We scryed for any sign of Anima control using the Anima blood and it lead us to this park.

Piper: Yeah, well, I don't see any evil dogs attacking little old ladies. (A piercing scream. Paige looks at Piper, sassily.)

Paige: Don't speak too soon. (A woman is being chased by a bear walking on its hind legs.) Piper, freeze it. (Piper freezes the bear.)

Piper: Okay, now where is this Anima demon? (A couple of pigeons fly at Paige and Piper. They duck and avoid them. The Anima demon shimmers in. The bear unfreezes and goes towards Paige and Piper. Piper blows up the Anima demon.) Was that the king? That better have been the king. (The bear jumps at Paige and Piper again. They orb out.)

(Cut to the Manor living room. Porter is still sitting on the couch watching the TV. Paige and Piper orb in behind him on the pile of Leo.)

Paige: I'm guessing it wasn't.

Piper: Porter? What the hell are you doing here?

Porter: Not learning.

Piper: What's that supposed to mean? Shouldn't you be in school?

Porter: Should be, would be, but I left.

Paige: Okay, you are going back this instant.

Porter: Make me.

Paige: Okay. (Paige raises her hand.) Porter! School! (Porter orbs out.)

Piper: Where's Leo?

Paige: I don't know.

Piper: Ugh. (Piper walks off and Paige follows her. Their feet crunch over the ice blocks. They go into the conservatory.) Leo? Leo? Oh! Oh! Ow! (Piper clutches her stomach.)

Paige: You okay?

Piper: I don't… Ow!

Paige: Do you want me to orb you to the doctor's office or something?

Piper: No…Ow. Yes, yes!

(Cut to a restaurant. Couples fill the room, cuddling and kissing. Phoebe and Jason walk in.)

Phoebe: Okay, what are we doing here?

Jason: Phoebe, this shouldn't take very long. But then again, you're pretty stubborn, so maybe it will.

Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute, I am stubborn? I am stubborn? Then what are you?

Jason: Stubborn, and a control freak. And pretty arrogant sometimes.

Phoebe: You really know how to take the fun out of a fight now, don't you? (Jason and Phoebe smile at each other.)

Jason: Phoebe, you make me sound like I'm the bad guy. After all, I am the one who wants to expand your column.

Phoebe: Right. What kind of ideas do you have?

Jason: I was thinking that we could branch the Ask Phoebe column into three parts. One part where you give advice, another part where we could have former askers share their success stories, and another where you take your advice on the road.

Phoebe: You know Jason. Something tells me you didn't ask me to come here purely intent on furthering my career.

Jason: Hm…Smart, beautiful, and very instinctive.

(Cut to a doctor's office. Piper is lying down on a table. The doctor is touching her side. Paige is sitting in a chair looking at a magazine.)

Doctor: Now tell me, Ms. Halliwell, what's wrong?

Piper: I'm not too sure. I keep having theses sharp pains in the side of my stomach.

Doctor: How long have you had stomach problems?

Piper: Not that long. I mean I have had major cravings.

Paige: And strange ones. Two weeks ago, she was eating bologna and chocolate sauce.

Doctor: Ms. Halliwell, I think we are going to have to take an ultrasound of your stomach.

Piper: Well, whatever it takes to get rid of this pain. Ow! There it is again.

Doctor: I'll right back with the ultrasound machine. (The doctor leaves.)

Paige: A sonogram? That doesn't concern you?

Piper: Why would it concern me?

Paige: Don't you think that if they are giving you an ultrasound that perhaps you may be pregnant or something?

Piper: Please, Paige. I'm not pregnant. (The doctor enters with a tall machine.)

Doctor: Alright Ms. Halliwell, I need you to lift up your shirt. (He rubs a small microphone shaped wand on Piper's stomach.) Well, Ms. Halliwell, it looks like you are perfectly healthy. You and the baby are perfectly fine.

Piper: Oh that's great. I don't know what I would do if the baby was…Baby? What baby?

Doctor: The one that I would guess you've been carrying for about two to three months now.

Piper: I'm pregnant? (Paige nods yes.) I'm going to be a mommy? (Paige nods yes.)

Paige: If it's what you wanted, then congratulations.

Piper: Wait until Leo hears about this.

(Time lapse. Late at night. Porter is in his bed. He sits up and his shadow appears on the wall. The moonlight shines into the warm and suddenly Porter's shadow morphs into a tall shadow with long hair and pointy ears. The shadow suddenly disappears in a blur.)


End file.
